Mark

My girlfriend broke up with her ex nearly 8 months ago, he initially was having doubts and broke up with her repeatedly until she had enough and ended it. To start with, they didn't speak, but a few months past and he decided he wanted her back, so started to call/text and turned up at her doorstep (over an hours drive from where he lives) uninvited. She had moved on and wasn't interested. He went quiet for a couple of months, we started seeing each other and then he suddenly starts calling again, sending flowers every week (he didn't know she was seeing anyone at this point). It's been another couple of months and he still hasn't dropped it. She's tried ignoring him, but eventually he just turns up on her doorstep. He doesn't listen to her when she explains for the millionth time that she doesn't want to get back together and that she's moved on, he doesn't follow through with their agreement to not make contact for 6 months (he wouldn't agree to it without an agreed set amount of time). He called one day, declaring that he "knew" she still loved him, that he is near financial independence so he can buy a house for them to live in etc. Today, he turned up at her house again, and I just don't know she can do. She doesn't want to be with him, she doesn't want to talk to him and she just wants to move on with her life. What can she/we do?

She's spent the night out (presumably drinking as they were at a pub) with a kindergarten friend she happened to bump into a few weeks back a d this was only the second time they've met since, they met up around 7 or 8 and she didn't get back until 3 in the morning. She would never be unfaithful, so I'm not questioning whether anything went on, but we're in a long(ish) distance relationship where we usually see each other every weekend or two, so we normally talk quite a lot during the week. This week she's been pretty busy so I've barely spoken to her, and to be honest I feel pretty annoyed that she's spent/dedicated more time to this guy she's "catching up" with than she has talking to me for the entire week. I won't get into the issue of the fact that she never really drinks with me either, she always gets too tired or a headache after one drink... Am I right to feel annoyed or am I just being petty?

She's spent the night out (presumably drinking as they were at a pub) with a kindergarten friend she happened to bump into a few weeks back a d this was only the second time they've met since, they met up around 7 or 8 and she didn't get back until 3 in the morning. She would never be unfaithful, so I'm not questioning whether anything went on, but we're in a long(ish) distance relationship where we usually see each other every weekend or two, so we normally talk quite a lot during the week. This week she's been pretty busy so I've barely spoken to her, and to be honest I feel pretty annoyed that she's spent/dedicated more time to this guy she's "catching up" with than she has talking to me for the entire week. I won't get into the issue of the fact that she never really drinks with me either, she always gets too tired or a headache after one drink... Am I right to feel annoyed or am I just being petty?

I met him through the girl I'm now seeing and have known them both about 5 years. Me and the guy have been friends through most of the last 5 years, although not particularly close, but we have hung out and done stuff together. The two of them broke up about 6 months ago and I've recently started seeing his ex, but he's still pretty hung up on her and in the last week has taken to calling her 5-10 times a day even when she won't answer. I've distanced myself from the guy of the past 2-3 months as I was their only mutual friend so we'd always end up talking about her. I've always been very unbiased with giving him advice, but has found out in the last week that she's seeing someone and had called me up to ask for some advice.

I feel like it would be the right thing to do to tell him, but at the same time, I've distanced myself from him and don't really feel like it's any of his business who either myself or his ex are dating. What do you think?

About 3 months ago, I told my best friend of 2 years that I had feelings for her. Since, we've slowly been progressing with things. She's told me she has feelings for me as well and things have moved on to be a bit more physical.

We can only see each other at the weekend/every other weekend and every time after spending the weekend together, she starts to freak out. First it was because things were moving too fast, then she felt claustrophobic in the situation and now she's saying she can't mentally make the transition between me being a friend and something more.

When we're together, everything's fine, she's calm about the whole thing and everything's great. But then when we're apart she freaks out. What do I do? How should I deal with this? And is there anything I can do to help her?

So this girl and I are in our 20's, we both know we like each other and we both know we're going in the direction of us being in a relationship and we're pretty much girlfriend/boyfriend, but every time us being in a relationship comes up she starts to freak out. She panics and says stuff like that if we were to be in a relationship, it'll either end up with us breaking up or getting married, both of which worry her. I feel like I know it's what she wants, but hearing it said out loud makes her lose it and I don't know what to do. How can I convince her to be in a relationship without scaring away?

So we're both mid 20's, I've been crazy about my best friend for the past couple of years but she's had a boyfriend. They broke up 3 months ago after being together for 4 1/2 years, but up until a couple of weeks ago, her ex was still trying to get back together with her, so to her it still feels like they've only just broken up.

A couple of months ago, I told her how I felt, (I knew it was too soon but circumstances dictated) she said she didn't know how she felt, but didn't want to lose me as her best friend.

We've hung out a lot since, probably more so than we usual would and we've gotten over the awkwardness of things. In fact I'm now pretty open with everything, and when I have a couple of pints I seem to uncontrollably compliment her (much to her amusement!), so she knows pretty well how I feel and she still hasn't run away although her stance hasn't changed. Although she always acts disgusted at the suggestion of "us" or if there's any physical contact, but there is a lot of joking about the situation.

Last weekend, we went away together (shared a room but had separate beds) and had a great time. On the second night, we'd had a fair bit to drink, but not enough that neither of us don't remember anything, and she was getting pretty close to me. We where dancing against each other, I was kissing her neck and she was pulling me into her. We kissed a couple of times and it was amazing. But as she sobered she freaked out a bit, saying that she didn't want to lead me on and didn't want people to think she was a floozy (she couldn't be further from being a floozy, I'm only the second guy she's kissed, but she worries that people would think that she's just jumping on the next guy too soon after her break up). As for her leading me on, I think it's more to do with that she doesn't know how she feels about me and definitely isn't ready for anything yet and doesn't want me to expect something too soon.

The next day wasn't too awkward and we joked about the night before and carried on the weekend, with her regaining her stance of being weirded out by the thought of "us" and any physical contact etc. and she said that she'd never get drunk with me again and something like that wouldn't happen again. We had a couple of drinks that night and it definitely seemed like she got more friendly with me again. Unfortunately the place closed and we went back to our room.

Since the weekend, she's of course maintained her stance on "us" but every now and again will say something like, "we're not even going out yet!" which once she realises what she's said is very carefuly to cover it up and go back to her usual stance.

So I know not to get my hopes up, she feels like she's still fragile after her break-up and isn't ready for anything, and probably wants to be single for a bit and not just jump straight into another relationship, especially as if was with myself it would kind of have to be pretty serious as we have a lot to lose. But where do you guys think I stand. Do I have any hope, even if I have to wait for it?

Long story short - We're both mid 20's, I've been crazy about my best friend for the past couple of years but she's had a boyfriend. They broke up 3 months ago after being together for 4 1/2 years, but up until a couple of weeks ago, her ex was still trying to get back together with her, so to her it still feels like they've only just broken up.

A couple of months ago, I told her how I felt, (I knew it was too soon but circumstances dictated) she said she didn't know how she felt, but didn't want to lose me as her best friend.

We've hung out a lot since, probably more so than we usual would and we've gotten over the awkwardness of things. In fact I'm now pretty open with everything, and when I have a couple of pints I seem to uncontrollably compliment her (much to her amusement!), so she knows pretty well how I feel and she still hasn't run away although her stance hasn't changed. Although she always acts disgusted at the suggestion of "us" or if there's any physical contact, but there is a lot of joking about the situation.

Last weekend, we went away together (shared a room but had separate beds) and had a great time. On the second night, we'd had a fair bit to drink, but not enough that neither of us don't remember anything, and she was getting pretty close to me. We where dancing against each other, I was kissing her neck and she was pulling me into her. We kissed a couple of times and it was amazing. But as she sobered she freaked out a bit, saying that she didn't want to lead me on and didn't want people to think she was a floozy (she couldn't be further from being a floozy, I'm only the second guy she's kissed, but she worries that people would think that she's just jumping on the next guy too soon after her break up). As for her leading me on, I think it's more to do with that she doesn't know how she feels about me and definitely isn't ready for anything yet and doesn't want me to expect something too soon.

The next day wasn't too awkward and we joked about the night before and carried on the weekend, with her regaining her stance of being weirded out by the thought of "us" and any physical contact etc. and she said that she'd never get drunk with me again and something like that wouldn't happen again. We had a couple of drinks that night and it definitely seemed like she got more friendly with me again. Unfortunately the place closed and we went back to our room.

Since the weekend, she's of course maintained her stance on "us" but every now and again will say something like, "we're not even going out yet!" which once she realises what she's said is very carefuly to cover it up and go back to her usual stance.

So I know not to get my hopes up, she feels like she's still fragile after her break-up and isn't ready for anything, and probably wants to be single for a bit and not just jump straight into another relationship, especially as if was with myself it would kind of have to be pretty serious as we have a lot to lose. But where do you guys think I stand. Do I have any hope, even if I have to wait for it?

I've been crazy about my best friend for the past couple of years, but she had a boyfriend. They broke up a couple of months ago and last weekend, circumstances came about that meant I ended up telling her I had feelings for her. Her response was that she doesn't know how she feels about me but was clear that it wasn't a no, although was also very adamant about not wanting to ruin our friendship. Since then, we still speak on a daily basis, but it seems like it's more so over texts now than over the phone as it was before. Also my timing couldn't have been worse as her ex kept calling the next day as he's trying to get back together (although she's having none of it).

Basically, I know she needs time to decide what she wants and I made it perfectly clear that I'm fine with her saying no, I was just genuinely happy she didn't say we couldn't stay friends and run away, but she insisted it wasn't a know, it was just that she didn't know. So my question is basically is there anything else I could/should be doing in the mean time to help her/myself?

I've been crazy about my best friend for the past couple of years, but she had a boyfriend. They broke up a couple of months ago and last weekend, circumstances came about that meant I ended up telling her I had feelings for her. Her response was that she doesn't know how she feels about me but was clear that it wasn't a no, although was also very adamant about not wanting to ruin our friendship. Since then, we still speak on a daily basis, but it seems like it's more so over texts now than over the phone as it was before. Also my timing couldn't have been worse as her ex kept calling the next day as he's trying to get back together (although she's having none of it).

Basically, I know she needs time to decide what she wants and I made it perfectly clear that I'm fine with her saying no, I was just genuinely happy she didn't say we couldn't stay friends and run away, but she insisted it wasn't a know, it was just that she didn't know. So my question is basically is there anything else I could/should be doing in the mean time to help her/myself?

I've been crazy about my best friend for the past couple of years, but she had a boyfriend. They broke up a couple of months ago and last weekend, circumstances came about that meant I ended up telling her I had feelings for her. Her response was that she doesn't know how she feels about me but was clear that it wasn't a no, although was also very adamant about not wanting to ruin our friendship. Since then, we still speak on a daily basis, but it seems like it's more so over texts now than over the phone as it was before. Also my timing couldn't have been worse as her ex kept calling the next day as he's trying to get back together (although she's having none of it).

She found the whole idea of me a bit weird and has mentioned on a few occasions, although we've turned it into a bit of a joke. Basically, I know I need to give her time, but I still want to know I'm still here for her in a romantic way as well as a friend. So would it be a bad idea to send her flowers/roses for valentines day, or would it be pushing it too far too soon?

I've been crazy about my best friend for the past couple of years, but she had a boyfriend. They broke up a couple of months ago and last weekend, circumstances came about that meant I ended up telling her I had feelings for her. Her response was that she doesn't know how she feels about me but was clear that it wasn't a no, although was also very adamant about not wanting to ruin our friendship. Since then, we still speak on a daily basis, but it seems like it's more so over texts now than over the phone as it was before. Also my timing couldn't have been worse as her ex kept calling the next day as he's trying to get back together (although she's having none of it).

Basically, I know she needs time to decide what she wants and I made it perfectly clear that I'm fine with her saying no, I was just genuinely happy she didn't say we couldn't stay friends and run away, but she insisted it wasn't a know, it was just that she didn't know. So my question is basically is there anything else I could/should be doing in the mean time to help her/myself?

I'm a 22 year old guy who's been crazy about his best friend for the last 2-3 years, however she's had a boyfriend for the last 4 years so never acted on it. However, a couple of months ago, they broke up and I'm at a point where I need to let her know how I feel before I go crazy.

We're meeting up for the day on Saturday in London and I want to plan a day to impress her and perhaps get her to look at me in a different light than just a friend, however I don't want to go over the top and do too much too soon. So what's the best way to impress her?

My plan so far is perhaps a nice restaurant and seeing something nice/kind of romantic at the theatre, but please, all suggestions are welcome!

I'm interested to hear what others in this situation have done and it worked out for them. I'm in this situation myself, but she's had a boyfriend for the past 4 years, however they broke up a few weeks ago and I'm trying to decide what to do. Is finding out if they feel the same worth risking an awesome friendship? The pay off is likely to be great if works out, but surely there's a good chance you'll lose it all if it backfires?

I'm interested to hear what others in this situation have done and it worked out for them. I'm in this situation myself, but she's had a boyfriend for the past 4 years, however they broke up a few weeks ago and I'm trying to decide what to do. Is finding out if they feel the same worth risking an awesome friendship? The pay off is likely to be great if works out, but surely there's a good chance you'll lose it all if it backfires?

I've been best friends with a girl for the past 4 years and I've been in love with her for the past 3, but she had a boyfriend so I never did anything about it and just stayed friends with her. A couple of weeks ago now, she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years and being her best friend, I've been there for her as someone to talk to, but I don't know what to do at the moment, I don't want to tell her how I feel and just get knocked back with the usual "friends" nonsense, but I know I shouldn't wait too long in case I miss my chance. So I have a few questions:

1) How do you get out of the friend-zone?

2) How long should I wait to tell her?

3) How should I tell her how I feel?

I really don't want to lose her, she's too important to me, but I know if I don't say anything I'll regret it for the rest of my life. All advice is welcome!

I've been best friends with a girl for the past 4 years and I've been in love with her for the past 3, but she had a boyfriend so I never did anything about it and just stayed friends with her. A couple of weeks ago now, she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years and being her best friend, I've been there for her as someone to talk to, but she's now revealed that she wants to leave the country, which I'm guessing is in reaction to breaking up with her boyfriend, but she says she's bored of living here. If she was to leave, it wouldn't be until late next year (2014) due to work commitments, but I fear that she would actually go through with this.

I don't know what to do at the moment, I want to tell her how I feel but I know it's too early to do so, but I know I shouldn't wait too long in case I miss my chance. So my first question is how and when should I tell, because to be honest, I have no idea how to tell her how I feel and I would hate to do something that would push her away. My second question is, how can I convince her to stay in the country? I know it's for my own selfish reasons, but I need her in my life, even if it was just as friends. She's too important to me.

I've been best friends with a girl for the past 4 years and I've been in love with her for the past 3, but she had a boyfriend so I never did anything about it and just stayed friends with her. A couple of weeks ago now, she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years and being her best friend, I've been there for her as someone to talk to, but she's now revealed that she wants to leave the country, which I'm guessing is in reaction to breaking up with her boyfriend, but she says she's bored of living here. If she was to leave, it wouldn't be until late next year (2014) due to work commitments, but I fear that she would actually go through with this.

I don't know what to do at the moment, I want to tell her how I feel but I know it's too early to do so, but I know I shouldn't wait too long in case I miss my chance. So my first question is how and when should I tell, because to be honest, I have no idea how to tell her how I feel and I would hate to do something that would push her away. My second question is, how can I convince her to stay in the country? I know it's for my own selfish reasons, but I need her in my life, even if it was just as friends. She's too important to me.

So me and the girl are 22, we met up for the first time in a long time and things were going well and I decided to tell her that I liked her and wanted to see her more, she said she liked me too and wanted to see me more too. The main problem is distance is an issue but I think we'd be great together so would be up for giving it a go to see what happens. But since all this happened, it seems like she's trying to avoid me. The day after she realised that she's busy every weekend until December, ok that could be true so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. But I tried to text her during the week, got one reply and then nothing. I also tried to arrange meeting up sometime before December and has now apparently booked all of her holiday off work (she had quite a lot to take) to see family. So this topped with the fact she hasn't made any effort to try and speak to me, can someone tell me what's going on?

In short, me and a girl said we like each other at the weekend, but distance is and issue, as well as the fact we're old friends and it was kind of awkward. So we decided we'd just meet up next time we're both free (which is in about 2 months) and just see how it goes. My problem is that a lot can happen in 2 months and I don't want to waste the opportunity.

My female friends are basically now giving me conflicting advice, whether to play it cool, or just take the initiative and tell her that we're going to meet up, which would mean that we'd both have to take time off work, but she did mention when she was down that she has time to take off before Xmas. Is it too much to just tell her to take time off work and to meet up, or is it that kind of assertiveness that girls like?