Nutella

I just feel so worthless, and I cannot help it. I've been bullied a lot. I just hate school, I hate all the people in, I hate seeing everybody smile, I'm around heaps of people but I feel so lonely, I feel like there isn't place for me. I smile but its an empty smile. I just hate going to school every morning, I laugh and take the piss out of everything but I hate it. Everything I do, it's just a show. When I get home, I go straight to my room and sit in silence, I hate how my parents are at work all the time, I hate how they argue all the time. I feel nothing, I feel like nothing. My dad spoke to me in Skype for the first time in ages yesterday, but he's on Facebook every day and when he sometimes speaks to me, it just feels like a rough conversation. It feels like I'm speaking to strangers. And I ******* smile even though I wish I didn't exist. Like before summer holidays I was all depressed, then I was happy, like 2 weeks before holidays stopped I would feel bad again because of all the things that happened, at the start of school year everything was fine, I was happy, I enjoyed myself and since about a week I just feel like there is no hope in the world again?! I don't know what to do, I've been depressed before, I've self harmed before. I sometimes say bad words about myself in my mind and I cannot stop.

In draw something the guy wrote 'Mulder' and I have to guess a word?! What is it who is mulder? The word has to be 6 letters long

It's just that whenever someone say something or does something that pisses me off I go absolutely mental at them, it feels like I want to slit their throats. I was really close to murdering someone once. I also have these weird habits, all curtains and doors must be closed, I hate spelling mistakes.

There is ways to love,

Ways to need,

To Hate,

To Hope,

But most of all,

There is so many ways,

To say goodbye.

I get angry quite a lot, ive been through depression and serious bulling & family problems, I sometimes think about murder. Killing all these people that hurt me. A couple of days ago I've seen this girl but my mum didn't see her? Even though the girl was Ughh on front of her?

Answer Please Serious.

Is it okay to speak to someone and they don't really exist, my bestfriend is a pixie.

Any good iPhone apps that will entertain me for a while?!

Well I'm not really depressed or anything but I still like to cut and cause pain to myself? People say I do it for attention even though like only 4 know, but I just really like the feeling of it, I used to cut with a razor but I got bored so now I'm trying to think of new ways.

Any good ways? Tried cutting and all that ****. Nothing that will show really big marks, please.

P.S No lecturing that it's bad and blah blah blah, meeeh.

Please, no "get help" and all that crap.

I like causing other people pain? I've been in a lot of fights, I like the thought of slowly torturing the people I hate? I would like to do little cuts on their bodies, cut their eyeballs out just to see what's inside them. Anyone ELSE likes that?! C:

....but, I would never hurt an animal?.

Well I have been depressed a lot, I've also got anger problems. My head is pumping. It

feels like I wan't to get out of school, home everywhere. I can't think straight or concentrate on th easiest work. There is just so much pain, I feel like hitting everything around me. The other day this boy was saying really mean stuff and kept on chucking pencils off my head, I got really pissed after something he said and I just picked up the scissors and full force chucked them right at me. I wasn't 'controlled' by the anger fully, I knew what i was doing. It was like i wanted him to get hurt. Recently I've been sitting down, and while thinking and I would just start pulling my hair out and crying while screaming. I've been cutting myself before....and I enjoyed it. I really like the feeling, I can just close my mind. It's like I would rather feel the pain in my wrist than in my head.

Welll, my dad was phisically abusing my mum and me until the age of 5, my mum found a new partner, he hates me. Calls me everything really, I have problems at school and can't concentrate on the work. I can't sleep at all, I don't really have much friends and I get bullied a lot. I tried telling someone but no one would listen, my school guidance teacher wouldn't do a things after a boy called me a 'fat little dog' and punched me in the stomach. To that I have anger problems, I can't stand some people. On yesterday Marcus(this boy) kept on calling me names in class and was chucking pencils at me, I got really angry after some of the stuff he said. I picked up the scissors which were right beside me and chucked them at him, he got a cut. I literally hate school, my mum has problems and im sometimes scared of her, I don't really have any other family since both of my parents where orphans..help?!

I've already read ; Harry potter, Eragon, Darren Shan Saga, Twilight(good book, the movie is ****), Salem's Lot, 1408, House of Night series, Vampire Academy, Lord of The rings, Chronicles of Narnia, The Awekning, Shadows, Vampire Diaries, Dead Beautiful, Velvet, Night House, Ash, Inkheart, Blue Bloods, Artemis Foul :)

I'm 13, size 12 in ladies 14 if I want something comfy. I only wear foundation to school, any ways I can make myself look prettier?!