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A friend was involved in a major traffic accident. My friend was driving a semi (18 wheeler on the interstate). The other person (driving a car) apparently suffered a fatal heart attack, and crossed the median, hitting my friend head on, at full speed. Needless to say, the other guy didn't survive- he'd only been out of the hospital 4 days, and out driving. The semi was totaled. My friend had to have neck surgery, and it's likely he will never be hired to drive again, with the neck & shoulder issues. It's all he's EVER DONE since 18 yrs old. He's now 57. Possibly be disabled. He's in recovery. His wife is beside herself. They have a mortgage to pay, a teenage son to provide for (who will go off to college in 3yrs), and it's looking as though she will be the sole breadwinner. They're going to sue the guy's insurance company, as my friend still has @10 yrs left til full retirement age. Disability or a replacement income is very uncertain at this point. So, if anyone knows if insurance settlements are taxed, it would be helpful. It's going to determine the bottom line settlement they seek. It's been a horrible mess. They deserve to be compensated fairly, just asking if they need to take taxation into consideration?

A couple days ago I still had it up there on my profile. Since I answer questions in multiple categories from relationships, community service, and philosophy, I have noticed it is gone today. Why is that? Can another TC please shed some light on this?

My husband and I have been involved in two social circles for many years. One 9 yrs, the other almost 12, both somewhat intertwine with each other. Along the way we had made many friends (or so we thought) and had attained high status. The status was never an issue for me, but my husband enjoyed it. Anyway, back on Labor Day weekend, a major event happened. Quite a handful that signed up to help with a function did not come. Nor did they give any notice. Naturally that made this function very stressful for those who DID help. This made me very upset and hurt that our so called 'friends' weren't there for us as promised, instead having a pool party at home with most of the folks who also didn't show up as promised. A particular man who came to help at the function acted rather odd. He told MY volunteers who were previously told what time to arrive, an entirely different time (2hrs LATE). This was the 3rd time I was in charge of a function for which he deliberately tried to undermine in some way. Not only that, he also made sure that his personal cronies were in attendance while our 'friends' apparently weren't there. He made a sideline deal with someone else to 'give away' our supplies that attendees were supposed to purchase. For which he NEVER consulted me, as the chairperson in charge, or the membership of our club. I was simply 'INFORMED' after the deal was made, and the announcement over the speakers to the crowd. On a tight budget as it was, and our club there to SELL PRODUCT AND MAKE MONEY, this fell upon MY SHOULDERS to explain to 100 other members why we LOST income for product. Next, this man makes up lies about something my husband supposedly did at this event, and stooped so low as to get one of his crony's DAUGHTERS to give false statements. Then went on to make a public spectacle of it all AFTER calling secret meetings behind our backs. His allegations were never brought to our attention until EVERYONE in the uppermost echelon was given his and his cronies' version of the story and we were already prejudged in this matter. Of course this all spread like wildfire. We were undermined, blindsided, lied on, and persecuted quite unjustly. We never had a chance to defend ourselves. Motives were purely because WE knew damaging things about HIM, and even though we kept our mouths shut, only telling our District Leader, because he had already tried to start trouble when I was President the year before. I only divulged it in confidence to explain why we had issues with a bartender, and why he was on such a rampage about me. Because he was clearly out of line to A) smoke dope on the property B) with the bartender C)and propositioned her for sex... he was HER DIRECT SUPERVISOR. She called me that night, very late, and was crying. She owned up to smoking with him, but, felt cornered and feared losing her job for not complying with the sexual favors. Now knowing this, I also accidentally found out that he was downloading porn on the office computer. Again, I kept quiet to the masses, and only told my husband about it. He thought no big deal, and I was honestly appalled by this misuse of property. But, it made perfect sense why he would lock himself in there now and then, and why he'd step out of line with an EMPLOYEE. We made sure to be at the club every time it was open, just to keep an eye on things, basically for the bartender's peace of mind. Now that you know all that, back to the original issue...

So, when all of this went down, only my husband, myself, and our District Leader knew the details of what this guy was like.. or what he had done before. We have a code that we quietly handle things from within. Seems stupid to me now, because WE played by the rules, and he apparently doesn't, yet, he gets away with unjustly and publicly ruining OUR reputations? Nobody else knew what was going on behind the scenes, not even HIS wife and kids (they're the reason we didn't hang him out to dry). Blindly, EVERYONE took his side. My husband was asked to resign, and I voluntarily turned my resignation in the next day. Then I find out even more lies said about us, my husband was furious, I was livid. Now, here is my actual dilemma: The next President in line has begged me to come back and work with her, as her right hand. This awful man is still there, with all his smiles, charm, sneakiness and cronies. Although our 'friends' NOW know some of the true details about him, they don't know ALL of it, and the list is long. As my husband and I had decided as a couple to just step back and only be members, I find myself in a situation that is difficult. Our friends want us back, and our next President was ALWAYS there for us. With the few qualified people she has to work with, she honestly needs my help. I'm torn. I feel it will only be more conflict to deal with. So, what would YOU do if in my shoes?

I have an HP laptop bought in 2008, with Vista. I have been cleaning it up so there's less 'garbage' on it. Over the years, I have downloaded 2 programs that I cannot uninstall from the control panel. Stop Sign by e-acceleration, and Device Manager (don't recall the publisher). In Control Panel, I can see a list of every program. These two won't uninstall. I get a window that asks to proceed (allow or not allow) and it tries to do one of two things: allow- runs the program, and closes the window, but, won't uninstall. Don't allow- just closes the window. I have tried countless times to uninstall them. What do I have to do to circumvent the built in features that prevents the uninstall and get them eliminated once and for all?

I need serious help finding round trip AFFORDABLE airline tickets. From FSM (or) XNA flying to RNO. Dates MUST BE July 12 or 13, 2013....returning the 19th or 20th. For reasons beyond our control, and due to the procrastination of others..we are in a jam. Our budget is NO MORE than $400 PER PASSENGER and total roundtrip. I need expert tips, tricks, or help. My husband is required to take this trip, and he wasn't given an adequate allowance to cover airfare, hotel, and per diem to eat on...so, accounting for the hotel and only his meals, $400 is his limit to spend.

We don't have time to drive it, we don't have credit cards to buy two $900+ airfares, bus tickets are even $500 round trip and over 38 hrs ride... I have searched ALL of the well-known travel sites: Orbitz, Expedia, CheapO Air, Kayak, etc, etc, etc... Been doing this daily for almost 2 weeks PRAYING to catch a break. We can't leave from any other airports, they are too far away, and will add to the cost of airfare...thru parking, gas, and/or car rental. It's a desperate situation.. I have honestly checked trains, bus lines, and every way I can think of to just get there. (sigh)... Nobody we know can help us with 'airline miles', rewards, or financially. So, if ANYONE has any truly helpful or practical tips or advice.. it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.

I have to work a hospitality room for two days, and meet my mom (whom I haven't seen in 4 years.. she has counted on this trip for 2 yrs now). I am laid off (only bringing in a measly $180/wk unemployment at the moment which is less than 1/2 of my previous wages), and our finances are already strapped...

Please, no hateful comments, sarcasm, or mindless remarks. I have cried many hours trying to get SOMEWHERE with this.. and am frankly to the point I want to strangle those responsible for delaying us to the last possible moment AND shorting my husband's allowance he is entitled to for this. We will have to 'wait for a reimbursement', with no guar

I am needing to drop 30 lbs in 60 days. If anyone has a diet THAT WORKS, I would love to have the links posted in your responses, or the names of the specific diets.

Slim Fast made me GAIN weight. Most appetite suppressants make me EAT MORE. I cannot eat shrimp, mushrooms or watermellon.

This is very important...so, please no trolling and hateful answers. I am not looking for a lecture on weight loss either. Just looking for practical ones that don't involve surgery, appetite suppressants, stimulants, or pre-packaged food programs like Medi-fast or Jenny Craig. I also won't resort to throwing up or using laxatives.

Mostly what I am looking for is a strategic diet that combines certain foods at certain times for maxiumum results.

Thanks.

I have a hypothetical question, asking on behalf of two friends...

One friend is a US born citizen, but not qualified to be a sponsor because they live in a small apartment and have a very tiny income. So, as a sponsor, they don't have financial means to support an invited immigrant, nor the room to house them. Now, if the immigrant has their own sufficient money to cover own apartment/housing, purchase a car, afford all insurance (car & medical), pay for all other expenses...like food & clothing...is it necessary that the sponsor still show a means to support the immigrant?

Next question: If an immigrant's 'invitee' were of unqualified financial status, then what is the best way to apply for immigration, and under what particular status for the lack of a sponsor? What type of visa or form should be filed? The immigrant would be a single male, mid 20's, looking for citizenship opportunity. The diversity lottery may not be an option for this person, as it's already closed for 2014 year, and only 55,000 are issued per year. The immigrant's home country will likely not fall into their guidelines for the diversity lottery anyway.

I can't help with their situation...I too wouldn't qualify as a sponsor, for many of the same reasons. The immigrant is not related to anyone in the US, nor is dating/engaged/married to a US citizen.

So, in regards to all the info, what is the best visa to apply for? And where do you begin the process or how?

I heard on the news this morning that $250 MILLION dollars was approved for aid to Egypt. REALLY?

The USA struggles with it's own economy, and other major issues. If you even occasionally follow the national news...you know that there are so many appropriate things our gov't could invest our tax dollars into.

Small businesses are getting the 'squeeze play' with mandatory health care. Unemployment rates are still very high. The national debt is not getting any better, and it's likely our great grandchildren will still be paying off the current debt, with yearly additions to it. Our children have suffered in education due to strict school budgets...and soooo much more. I haven't even mentioned Medicare, Social Security, and other federal programs set up for posterity.

I am just wondering what other informed Americans think about this. Where would you RATHER see $250 Million dollars of OUR tax money go? Why does Egypt deserve the handout more than the citizens of this country deserve it invested in our own programs, for our own benefit?

Rants, thoughts, and opinions are welcome.. (I don't need an explanation of what the money is for...it is perfectly obvious that 'buying off' another Middle Eastern country is a way to gain another ally in a part of the world where we are viewed as 'outsiders', 'infidels', and bullying busybodies).

Is this our tax dollars well spent for favor in the Middle East, or better spent at home...where we NEED it?

I am currently at home, not working a regular 'job'. However, aside from being a homemaker & wife, I am extremely involved in many charitable activities (which requires a lot of time, effort, and dedication to do). Our financial situation is comfortable, and we don't struggle to eat or pay bills..so, money is not really an issue (not rich, just have what we need). In fact, my husband seems to like me home more than working.

Now, recently, as I am backing away from the massive duties and obligations that I had for some time with the non-profit charitable work (all volunteer)...my husband has decided to step into the same duties I am giving up. Here is the situation:

I am Pres of one org's local branch. I am a Board Member & Secretary for another local org. As I feel the need for the two of us to finally spend some time together and 'take a much needed break', he is going to step up what he feels 'obligated' to do for the next year. We have been involved in the first org about 8 yrs now, and the other local one about 11 years now. EVERY weekend (nearly) one of these orgs has a function to work, sometimes both. The first org, requires about 3-6 evenings/days per week, and is the one he will be most involved with. In this case, I become 'obligated' to be there by his side and assist in all the things, greet dignitaries, entertain guests, work events...and so on. He has expressly stated that he needs my help and support for this coming year...and I had hoped he would turn down the position...but, no, that didn't happen.

I am tired. Exhausted really. Mentally and physically. It's run, run, run....work, work, work....give and do ALL THE TIME. I am 43, have no kids at home, and used to view all this as my 'church' (they are Christian based focused on children, families, communities and Vets). There is a deep satisfaction in giving and doing...to some degree. But, at what point do you just say enough is enough?

Recently my health has really declined. Stress, chest pains (unexplained at the moment, seeing the doctors for evaluations and tests), tired all the time, prefer to stay home over socializing, and just a general attitude of 'ok, let's get it done'....

My husband and I have not had OUR OWN vacation in almost 10 years now, that wasn't associated with either of these orgs. All vacation time is scheduled to attend the functions....(sigh). I can't just say 'no', because it would be like turning my back on him and the orgs we have worked so long and hard to promote together, with many other people. The general pool of people we work with all put their families and their own activities before the needs of the orgs. We don't. So, I guess I feel frustrated with the lacking enthusiasm & support of others, as well as being overworked, under-appreciated, and being forced to succumb to another year of busting our butts and putting on 'the happy face' for everyone in public. Not to mention that the total time we 'invest' in these things is not truly conducive to my having any opportunity for a career or job that isn't flexible to doing this stuff.

I feel torn. I am stressed out. Husband has basically committed to all this (April to April 2014), and I am part of the 'package deal' for it all. We can't have any time together alone for a vacation, or just enjoy a night without the phone ringing or some temporary 'crisis' to handle. We will be required to attend everything....meetings, functions, events, traveling, greeting/entertaining, and more. (sigh).

Taking a vacation alone to see my family (out of state) is not an option. Saying 'no' is not really an option either. How do you deal with all this when you saw the light at the end of the tunnel just go dark? And the stress levels involved are probably what is causing the health issues anyway? How do you go from being 'Miss Reliable' to 'Don't expect me to do it'?

Any feedback would be appreciated. This is a delicate and complicated situation...and I would appreciate answers that aren't trite in saying 'just say no', 'take your own vacation', or whatever. Please consider the whole picture...and read the whole post before you reply.

Thanks.

When I was young, I went for a dental visit. I think I was about 7 or 8 yrs old. I had several cavities, and one was very severe causing an infected nerve in one tooth.

So, here is my question: I was given two good shots of novacaine, and it didn't numb me very well. I got two more...still not numb enough...so I ended up getting 6 total for that visit. Now, I have this 'friend' who claims that you can't get any type of 'high' from these shots because they were 'localized'. #1, I was 'buzzed' when I left that day, and mean as hell that night. My mom even got worried I didn't seem 'right' for the whole afternoon & evening after the visit. So, what honestly caused these side effects? I KNOW I didn't imagine this, or lie about it...so can anyone explain this? Was it adrenaline from the fear of having drills in my mouth and the pain? Or is it possible to have gotten the shots in the wrong place and the medication go systemic?

I am very involved in a local organization...currently at the top tier of it after yrs of extreme dedication and hard work. During these years, I have made numerous acquaintances & formed what I thought were pretty tight friendships, as we also do many things together outside of this organization. So, here's my dilemma: I have ALWAYS made myself available to help and support their endeavors in this org...without fail, and w/o excuses. I have had perfect attendance at every function, every meeting, and done all in my power to help this org and my friends be successful in their activities. If it means doing the worst of the grunt work like the dishes, mopping & trash..then, ok, I do it...If it means fundraising, I do it...if it's shopping, cooking, setting up, trouble-shooting..I do it...whatever they have asked for in the past...including being THE designated driver for every convention, training seminar, party and function for years on end...I did it, and never complained because I was happy to & figured when it was my turn to be at the top that they would do the same for me. Well, seems that isn't the case. Where I am most upset are in several areas.... First, we have a major party coming up for one of the ladies in the org. The 'group' has talked extensively about decorating, food, entertainment, and even gone in together on lavish gifts...and never included me on anything...except needing my chocolate fountain for it and getting the date secured for the party at our establishment. So, also knowing that the lady was registered for gifts, (and I heard about it weeks later)...well, I couldn't afford a pricey gift of $200+...which was all that was left because everyone else snagged up the affordable items and split other big ticket items. I am currently not working, so going in 3 ways on a $300 gift would have been affordable for me...but it's too late now.

I responded a couple days ago to someone asking for donations. She had cashed her check and put the $400 in her purse, and failed to zip it up in public. It was stolen. She doesn't have children of her own, but pleaded for donations to replace the money to buy Christmas presents. I felt it was tacky, even though it was really unfortunate. ¿he mentioned the excess would be donated to a prominant charity. I know my response wasn't positive.. and feel a bit guilty about saying what I said...that it wasn't an emergency, and I wouldn't dare do that. Even though I am destitute, about to lose my house, and can't afford to pay my bills (which are basic) and seeking work after a perm lay-off.

Does anyone else think that request was tacky? Or would you make the donation? Just curious..what are your thoughts?