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Can you tell me a funnier joke than I heard last week?

I got some really cool/funny answers last week - over to you!

9 Answers

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  • 2 decades ago
    Favourite answer

    why do seagulls fly over the sea?

    because if they flew over the bay they would be "baygulls"

  • 2 decades ago

    Q.how can you tell the difference in gender between seagals?

    A.the ones making all the noise are female!

    sorry a bit sexist and lame,but i'm a women and i love it!

    This ones better:

    A young lady went to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet.

    She

    spotted a box full of frogs with a sign that said Sex Frogs $20.

    Complete instructions included. Money Back Guarantee!

    The girl looked around to see if anyone was watching her and whispered

    softly to the man behind the counter, I'll take one. As soon as she

    closed

    the door to her apartment, she read the instructions.

    1. Take a shower.

    2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.

    3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.

    4. Crawl into bed and place the frog on the bed.

    Following the instructions exactly, she quickly got into bed with the

    frog.

    Nothing happened. The girl was totally frustrated and quite upset.

    She reread the instructions and noticed at the bottom of the paper it

    said,

    If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store. She

    called

    and was told by the salesman, I had some complaints earlier

    today. I'll be right over.

    Within five minutes he rang doorbell and was welcomed in. See, I've

    done

    everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits

    there,

    said the frustrated girl.

    The salesman picked up the frog, stared directly into its eyes and

    said....

    Listen to me froggy. I'm only going to show you how to do this one

    more

    time!

  • 2 decades ago

    Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

    A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a

    particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they

    spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was

    difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota

    and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following

    day. The husband checked

    into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an

    email to his wife.

    However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and

    without realizing his error, sent the email.

    Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from

    her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory

    following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting

    messages from relatives and friends.

    After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's

    son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the

    computer screen which read:

    To: My loving wife

    Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here

    now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just

    arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared

    for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your

    journey is as uneventful as mine was.

    P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?" Kathy takes a sniff and replies, "That is nice. What's it called?" "Viens a moi", replies Nancy.

    "Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?" At this stage the store clerk offers some help. "Viens a moi, ladies means 'come to me' in French."

    Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again and remarks. "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?".

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    Monica Lewinski takes a dress to the drycleaners.The little old man behind the counter is slightly deaf.Monica asks "Can you clean this dress by monday?".The little old man says "Come again?"."No" says Monica.."Mayonnaise".

  • 2 decades ago

    Q: What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

    A: A brunette with bad breath.

    HAHAHAH Now THATS funny!

  • 2 decades ago

    this is funny......hope u like it

    would u drag ur balls threw broken glass to hear me piss in a tin can over a long distance phone call?

    like it?

  • 2 decades ago

    why do moths fly with their legs open?.....

    have u seen the size of moth balls!

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    sorry...NO

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