Question about communal living and tackling a difficult housemate?

Question

I live with 16 other people and share a kitchen and fridges. Since a certain person moved in two months ago, things keep dissapearing from the fridge (a six pack of beer etc.). The other day someone nicked my cheese so I wrote a polite note not accusing anyone, asking whoever took it to replace it and ask before they took next time. There is now a note attached to my note saying "suck my balls, *****." While it would be satisfying to write "you'd have to grow a set first" in response, is there anything else I could do to move the problem toward some sort of resolution rather than coming down to this person's level? We don't know who it is (suspicion is based solely on the fact that this didn't happen before this person moved in) and therefore can't accuse them outright.
BTW, I don't like leaving notes as a rule, but it wasn't the first thing they took so someone had to do something.

jo :) · Accepted Answer

Living with so many, it isn't solvable unless several of you confront the culprit together - and even then it could just turn nasty. You need to be 100% sure the bloke is caught in the act and guilty.
Perhaps the solution is to get a mini fridge for your room?

I was lucky - the only time we had a housemate who we had difficulty with, he didn't stay long. Maybe you'll get lucky too.

Anonymous · Answer

Tip-toeing around issues like this means they escalate and bad feeling festers.  You must tackle it head-one, firmly but politely.  Try to call a resident meeting  by putting a note up in a common area, state when and what time you want the meeting to be, (if people want to make it they will so don't try to accommodate everyone with dates/times), also start an agenda, and put as item 1 - how to handle things that go missing and invite other agenda items in case other people have different issues.  When the culprit realises there may be repercussions for their actions they might think twice next time - but there should always be ground rules anyway.  Also bear in mind it may have been a drunken prank - so be prepared to give a little ground.

Angela C · Answer

Ask the person if they wrote the note.

Try having two fridges in the house, one for food to be shared and one for personal food.

fed up woman · Answer

Get rid of that person if possible, somebody like that is capable of stealing your food, could very well steal your property.  Not to mention the atmosphere they create.

I'm afraid that short of catching this person in fraganti and getting them expelled, or planting some attractive food with a good dose of a laxative to teach him a lesson, there's no much you can do.

You could also resort to a small personal fridge.

drshorty · Answer

You don't know who did this so you have no way to confront any particular person individually.  I'd say either deal with it, put your stuff somewhere else, or look for a new place to live.

Anonymous · Answer

i use to live in residents like that try and have a house meeting and bring up the issue if it carries on then try telling the landlord good luck x

Bill N · Answer

bottom line is communal living doesnt work

that's what the cold war was all about

yiddo · Answer

suck my balls

Question about communal living and tackling a difficult housemate?

8 Answers