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A man visits his local church wanting to speak to his vicar , "Father, what do I need to do to get into .....
..... heaven?". The vicar thinks for a moment and replies, "Son, to get into heaven, you must give up smoking, drink, and sex for a year.". The man thinks to himself that this will be difficult but agrees to do this "Father, if there is no way else, I shall give up smoking, drinking and sex for a year.".
A year comes and goes. The man returns to the church and the vicar asks "Hello, my son, did you give up smoking?". The man replies "It was difficult but I have not smoked for a year.".
The vicar answers "That was good. You are on the way to heaven. How about the drink?". Again, the man responds "That was also difficult but I have touched any alcohol for a year.".
The vicar, now impressed, asks "That is good. If you have had no sex for the year, you will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.". The man, looking depressed, answers "Well there is a problem. I was doing so well until last weekend. I had no sex all year and then last weekend, I saw my wife bending over in the fridge.".
"I just couldn't contain myself after so long and just had to take her there and then.".
The vicar, now disppointed, gives him the bad news "Son, you have broken the oath you took. I'm afraid you're now banned from the Kingdom of Heaven.". The man replies, "Yeah, I'm also banned from Tesco's as well."
12 Answers
- buswellLv 45 years ago
The pope is the Vicar of Christ, and the Holy Spirit has been with the Church by means of fact that's inception, only as Christ promised. I see no undertaking with the verses you have quoted and Catholic theory and practice. Jesus became into chatting with the Apostles on the final Supper. Peter, on whom Jesus geared up his Church, and something of the Apostles. The Holy Spirit has been with the Church for 2000 years and guarded her from the "gates of hell." The Catholic Church has in no way replaced and dogma, in no way replaced any coaching of Christ. What we believed has been believed and exceeded down by using the Apostles, some with the aid of Scripture and a few with the aid of Sacred Oral custom. The place of work of the pope has the authority of Peter, who became into given the authority of Christ (keys). This authority has been exceeded directly to each successor of Peter. Makes suited biblical experience to me.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Brilliant!! Have a star like object.
LMFAO.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Ha ha ha worth a star,,,
- Anonymous1 decade ago
hahahaha
