Advice? Whats Wrong With Me? Please help!?

If your therapist is not working for you, find another one. Just because its not working doesn't mean its your fault. Find someone who has experience in working with trauma and particularly post rape trauma.

It sounds like that you're in a crisis at the moment and while I wouldn't usually advise drug therapy, I think it has its place. When you're very distressed, its very hard to take in information and deal with psychotherapy. Drug therapy can help buy you some head space to start dealing with the trauma. Speak to your therapist or doctor about this. Just remember to take up psychotherapy once you start feeling better. These issues won't go away without facing them first.

Therapists are usually... .. i think close-minded is the word. Always trying to categorize and fit you into some nice category that either needs meds or a specific treatment. Lazy. That's why I want to be a therapist, to change things up a bit.

First off, if you were raped 4 years ago, his sperm would be long gone/dead by now. So, no worries about getting preggo from him. Secondly, it seems that you have not yet come to terms with the fact that you have been raped. Yes, you are aware that it happened, and yes you remember how it happened. Now, you need to acknowledge that it happened and let it run through your mind freely, to try and cope with that memory. You need to allow the memory to flow through your mind comfortably so that whenever it pops up out of no where, rather than being emotionally disturbed you can dismiss it as just another memory. Yes, this approach may sound sick, but it works.

If you have food cravings, eat. If you eat and still crave food maybe you should see a physician and see if you have tapeworm or something else that is affecting your eating habbits.

As for the mood swings, depression, and outbursts of crying those could all be related to your repressed memories of rape. Follow what i said above. If that does not work, maybe you are going through hormonal changes, or you need some form of relaxation therapy .. i.e. walks in the forest, taking pictures of nature, classical music.. just something to remind you of the beauty of life.

If the problems persist, and they are not due to physical symptoms given by a physician, maybe you should see a Psychiatrist.

Stop allowing things that happened in your past to define you. Only you can stop doing that, no one else can do it for you. Decide what kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to have and then do that. Yes, it actually is that easy. You just have to quit being a victim and decide to do it. Don't be bothered about dreams, they are just that and can only affect you in waking life if you allow it. Again, you are in total control over that. As for your food cravings, see a doctor to ensure you are getting proper nutrition. Get a little exercise each day. Exercise does wonders for both the body and the mind.