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foggisan asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

How beautifully does the wind sing in the trees when you are quiet?

The wind circles

Waiting in the branches

To sweep the stones

Clear of leaves

When I depart.

For now though,

It shows respect

As do I.

Respect for a life

A time and love

And the heartprint

You left behind.

In the sunlight

A tear, falling

A gift of thanks

For being

Rest in peace.

Update:

Gruff, you're right, it was self indulgent -but not BS.

Update 2:

Alobar, thank you for your suggestions, all critique is always welcome. I agree there needs to be a period or a comma at least before Rest in peace.

The other line I'm pondering....

17 Answers

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  • -
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    I'm sorry, I got caught up watching the leaves being swept in circles by the wind.............were you saying something?

    ma

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    1

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  • Alobar
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    A quiet, melancholic piece with lovely imagery.

    a couple minor suggestions (but only suggestions) would be to strike the line "As do I," I don't think the repetition of your presence is needed, and serves to (ever so slightly) distract.

    For now though,

    It shows resepect

    for a life,

    A time etc etc

    I would also add a comma or even line-break before Rest in Peace.

    These are just suggestions, no need to defend, throw them out if you don't agree. Really a lovely poem, and I enjoyed. thank you.

  • 1 decade ago

    That's absolutely beautiful and gives me as the reader amazing imagery in my thoughts. My mind is mesmerized by the simplicity and meaningfulness of this. I really love it!

  • Very Beautifully, thank you.

    Not really quite ready for RIP yet..

    ...but I shall try to rest peacefully.

  • moyer
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    right it is your answer: Origins of words to "Rock a bye toddler" in American history The words and lyrics to the "Rock a bye toddler" rhyme are reputed to mirror the observations of a youthful pilgrim boy in u . s . who had seen interior reach Indian mothers droop a birch bark cradle from the branches of a tree. subsequently permitting the wind to rock the cradle and the youngster to sleep! This rhyme is likewise popular as "Hush a bye toddler" this is the superb identify. The confusion on the subject of those lyrics got here approximately by using attractiveness of the previous Al Jolson classic music "Rock a bye my toddler with a Dixie melody!". Origins of words to "Rock a bye toddler" in English history relationship back to the 1700's the story of the Nursery Rhyme pertains to a kin who lived in a tree domicile which grew to become into formed interior a huge Yew tree. The Yew Tree worried grew to become into believed to be almost 2000 years previous. The kin have been charcoal burners who lived in Shining Cliff Woods, Ambergate, Derbyshire interior the 1700's. the classic profession of Charcoal Burning may well be carried out via people who relatively lived interior the woods. only like like this kin. Their names have been Kate and Luke Kennyon and that they lived in what grew to become into domestically reported as the 'Betty Kenny Tree' - a colloquialism for Kate Kenyon. The Kenyons had 8 toddlers and a tree bough grew to become into hollowed out to act as a cradle for their toddlers! Shining Cliff Woods grew to become into owned on the time via the wear kin. The Kenyons have been favoured via the Hurts who commissioned the artist James Ward of the Royal Academy to color their photos. The Yew tree nevertheless exists yet grew to become into heavily fireplace broken via vandals interior the Nineteen Thirties. extra concepts may well be placed on the Amber Valley Borough Council web page. Out grateful thank you bypass to James Hamilton for offering us with the effect in the English origins to 'Rock a Bye toddler. Rock a bye toddler music AKA Hush a bye toddler Rock a bye toddler on the tree acceptable, while the wind blows the cradle will rock, while the bough breaks the cradle will fall, And down will come toddler, cradle and all. Rock a bye toddler music AKA Hush a bye toddler

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm so seldom quiet, except after reading something like this.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is so lovely Foggi! Thank you, it is a gift. I'd love to use this at my funeral whenever that is....

    (I was going to say "I am blown away by this poem" but maybe I shouldn't ruin the peaceful vibe.... )

  • 1 decade ago

    You've captured a beautiful moment in time. Quite bittersweet. Thanks for this ... I'm stuck in the concrete monstrosity you wrote about a poem or so ago, and this took me (figuratively) to my mother's graveside, beneath the trees ... lovely.

    Thanks again.

  • 1 decade ago

    This speaks and speaks that one does not need many words to make a strong statement. Well crafted.

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