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I am a 41 years old Father of a 17 year old girl, she wont talk to me?
I am a 41 years old Father of a 17 year old girl, I shared joint custody with her since she was a baby, last October while I was dropping her off at School, she started crying and said i did not protect her when she was a lil girl, she said my exwife hit her and I did nothing. she does not want to come to my house since, I have gone to visit her but she has a big attitude towards me, she wont text or call back. What should i do to reconcile?
9 Answers
- 5 years ago
Aha, teenage drama. Well at the moment she is at the stage where she doesn't want to talk to her old dad but also at the stage where she is a young woman. Just give her a little space and time to cool off so she can sort her head out. About the ex wife thing, you need to find out if she is being truthful and if she is you need to sit down with her and explain that (if) you didn't know and would never want that. Make her feel like you want to talk to her and look out for her because at the moment i think she is lashing out because she is hurt. Try and get to the root of the problem and see how it goes from there. The behaviour expressed could be from the built up emotions but there may be an underlying problem that has created the recent outburst. Don't feel too bad about the ignoring you part because everyone goes through it especially teenage girls and their fathers as i am currently going through it too. It's completely normal and it's just a form of testing the boundaries and seeing how far we get from pushing them. It could just be a phase but i do recommend sitting and talking with her about any issues because if it isn't just a phase and their is something really wrong it needs nipping in the bud asap.
- 5 years ago
Patience, lots of patience. 17 is a tough age, she's going through a lot, and to be honest you probably did miss a lot of signs of stress in her life (we guys just don't always notice these things!). So be patient. Love her unconditionally. Let her know you know that you haven't been the perfect father, but that you tried, and will continue to try harder, and that you will ALWAYS love and accept and be there for her. Learn what's going on in her life, what she's into, and make a SERIOUS effort to get into it - even if it means you have to sit through four hours of some event to watch her perform for 45 seconds - DO IT! Make yourself be around, spend time with her. Make sure she feels important and loved. Accept, don't judge. And she will come around.
- AnnonymousLv 75 years ago
You need counseling to give you ideas what you can do to relate to her as best as you can, someone that can help you nurture the relationship to the best that you can, do the best you can with it, you're going to have to give the girl space and time. Nothing you can do more than that except prayer. I'll pray for you, I have two grown daughters, it's not easy, but a counselor would give you great ideas.
- 5 years ago
Ah the perks of being a father of a teenager. She's probably doing her own little thing right now, after all she's growing up. Try asking her to watch a movie. That's how my dad and I connect.
Source(s): 17 year old girl - Anonymous5 years ago
Well did you witness you ex hitting her and you did not step in to help her? Then she is going to be resentful as she feels that if you loved her you would have prevented the abuse
If you did not know she was being hit, tell her honestly that you didn't know. Tell her that if you had known she was being hurt you would have done all you could have to fight for primary custody of her to remove her from the situation.
- ?Lv 55 years ago
Try and sit her down and tell her your side of the story. Try to get to the root of the problem and slowly take it from there. I'm 17 and also have similar problems with my dad.
- PrincessLv 65 years ago
17 is a tough age. Try your best to stay in contact with her. As she ages she will most likely come forward. Give her time!
- 5 years ago
Just tell her there's nothing you can do about it now but you will be there for her from now on. No exceptions
- RickyLv 65 years ago
Mr. don't worry about it. if its only a few days she is problably mad but that is only temporary. give her space and I promise she will talk to you again. its part of life. there is times my mom gets mad for weeks but I don't worry about it, she is my mom for ever and ever she is not going no where.