Can you please advise me how this draft poem affects you on an emotional level?

Question

(Unfinished)

Once upon a lovely time,
I grew a rose and she was mine.
And in my garden she bloomed fair,
enhanced my living, filled the air
with fragrant, scented, sweet delight.

For many days the summer stayed.
Nurtured, cherished all could see,
how dearly loved my thriving rose,
how clearly loved she was by me.

But then came changes unforseen.
Uprooted from her garden space,
her precious charms soon fell from grace.
Into the hands she chose to go
of those misguided, miscreant.

Withdrawn from her own territory,
a safety net was not in place.
The warning signs were etched in lines,
I saw the future in her face.

Once in a while, her smile returned.
Ignited eyes brought forth a spark
and light would surface bring relief
from darkness, shadows and the murk,
existence in a twilight world.

The thorns that scratched and wounded flesh,
then shredded daydreams, tore on hearts.
How far apart my rose now seemed,
and how it pained and burdened so.
The skin of kin not tough enough.
Too thin, too thin, too thin by far
to stop her demons sinking in.

? · Accepted Answer

It affects me deeply Cassie...and scares me for my little wild rose who grows taller by the day! I cannot bear to think of him being uprooted and losing his safety net. Beautifully written, as usual, and straight from your heart. Huggs and prayers to you and all the roses plucked from their home gardens...x

P&#39;quaint! · Answer

This brings a flurry of emotions...and one wonders how life takes twists and turns :(

Aiman · Answer

How it affects me...  it's hard to say. The first reaction that I get was a sense of helplessness on your part to watch someone you love and cared for going through a pain of her own choice. Perhaps she did not make the choice with the clearest of mind or perhaps she didn't know that she chose. You wanted to help her but you know that you are threading on thin ice and you'd rather have her by you than not at all.

On a personal level, it reminds me of my relationship with my siblings. I guess it's true that people say, the eldest may become the surrogate parents to their younger siblings. Sometimes I become so protective that I practically snatch the authority from my parents when I think that they are not doing it right. Despite all that, as they all grew up they all yearn for their own autonomy and freewill and I remember being their age and wanting the same. And yet I also know the cruelty of the confusion of being a teenager and thinking that nobody, nobody could ever understand what you are going through. I want to tell her that I am there for her but I knows that she knows that as a fact - I just don't know if she feels it strongly enough to ward the evil off.

5 ft 7 Texas Heaven · Answer

As always, I enjoy your poetry, most on an emotional level, this, by way of recent events, is very personal, very close to home. Thumbs up, bug hugs. <3

Bernadeth · Answer

Yes

Gisella · Answer

The poem hit me very well. I also make poems too :) And I rate it from 1-10. I would rate that 9. Congratulations! :) <3 :)

Anonymous · Answer

it seems to be a very personal poem and lets the audience know how fragile life really is. i have many long-time friends who have depression and/or anxiety who feel out of place with their family and in their own homes. I feel it is my job, as an acquaintance , to continuously provide a light in their dark lives. However as bystander, I still feel removed from their predicament even though I've known them since the happy childhood we shared. 
idk... it seems relevant to the poem. really well written by the way :)

? · Answer

I feel saddened for I too have a beautiful daughter.  May I share this with my childhood friend, Cassie?

? · Answer

You reach into my heart with this conveying the world`s mercilessness cassie...
and the site`s made more balanced and emotionally  helpful worthwhile for your postings. love xxx

Lapiz

? · Answer

It saddens me and makes me think about untreated mental illnesses.

Can you please advise me how this draft poem affects you on an emotional level?

10 Answers