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Choosing an officiant for my same-sex wedding?

Hey y'all! I'm planning my big, fat gay wedding and the time has come to start interviewing officiants. I'm lucky enough to live in Canada so we do have anti-discrimination laws in place but for obvious reasons I don't want someone who harbours homophobic sentiments officiating my wedding. I suppose what I'm asking here is, how do I weed out potentially homophobic/bigoted officiants? What questions should I ask?

12 Answers

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 years ago
    Favourite answer

    You can go on The Knot web site. Plenty of officiant there to choose from. They will let you know up front they do same sex marriages and they will have reviews.

    You can also have a friend or relative go on line and an officiant. To legally able be able to marry you. Mt daughter and her husband were married by their best friend. My friend’s daughter was married by her aunt,My brother is a mayor of a small tone and he had married several couples. A mayor isn’t going to reck his career by going ballistic at your wedding.

    Ask your wedding venue or photographer to recommend someone they have worked with.

  • lila
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    So dramatic. Nobody who is 'homophobic' would agree to officiate your gay "marriage" anyway so that's a pointless concern. Just explore your local options and select someone who is available and willing.

    I find it hilarious that you have no problem referring to anyone who wouldn't support you as 'homophobic' and 'bigoted.' For someone who doesn't want to be discriminated or called names, you sure have no problem doing it yourself.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Good luck in finding someone from a church to do it. Most all churches don't perform same-sex weddings if they follow what the Bible says. I would say just have your wedding in a courthouse before a judge.

  • I live in Canada I'm married but I'm not gay. If you have any questions about what to include in your ceremony like any readings, or any special things like ring blessings that you would like to have then ask.

    You should at least have a few meetings with your officiant to see if they're the right fit for your wedding, and that they agree with your life style.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    There are plenty of openly gay members of clergy in Canada. I'd suggest you reach out to some of those. Fearing homophobes in Canada is a little like fearing icebergs in the south Pacific so me thinks this whole question is just an attempt to lash out at the users here who don't come from gay-friendly places like Canada.

  • 2 years ago

    Ask your gay friends.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Most private officiants who do not believe in gay marriage will not perform a gay marriage ceremony so that should be the only weeding out you need. If you're using a wedding planning site or a google search most who are LGBTQ friendly will mention it in the services they offer.

    By the way you're going to run into this issues with more people than just an officiant, there's also other vendors like photographers, venue owners (of private facilities), florists, etc.

    I'm LGBTQ friendly AF, but not everyone is and for those one's who aren't... that's actually okay. Just because I don't agree with them doesn't mean I can't be friends with or do business with them and it also doesn't mean I can't respect them or their opinions. I own bakeries, we make cakes for all weddings... as long as the check clears short of a child bride or forced marriage situation in all honesty... I really don't care what kind of wedding they're planning or what they want on the cake.

    Also by turning away someone who doesn't agree with you, you're also discriminating against them.

  • 2 years ago

    Do you have any friends who are married to a person of the same sexl? Ask them to recommend their officiant.

    Can people in Canada get ordained online or go through a registry office to get certified to perform weddings? If so, ask a trusted friend to do it for you. if there’s a fee obviously pay it for them.

    Google for websites and blogs that feature same weddings and look for their vendor list.

    Use a review site like Yelp or Pink Pages to find gay-friendly local businesses.

    Reach out to a local group such as PFLAG to ask if they have recommendations. If you live near a big city with a gay district I’d imagine those stores have bulletin boards or online groups to help their patrons find other businesses who will support them.

    Have you just Googled this? It shouldn’t be difficult for you to find something. Is the issue here that you’re in a remote area with no friendly resources to assist you, or have you just not actually tried looking for yourself yet?

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    The USA has anti discrimination laws too. Problem is, when they were drafted up, sexual orientation was left out.

  • 2 years ago

    You dont' need to ask any question. Just tell them you are having a gay wedding... that will weed out anyone not interested

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