How personal is your outrage?

Ok so I am a white female who grew up in the state of Louisiana & I can definitely confirm racism is a thing, but for most of my life I just turned a side eye to it like most of us do down here. In my opinion the racism that exists down here is very strategic & subtle. Here is my case, Louisiana’s demographics & racial makeup is 80% black 20% white... however the wealth gap in the state of Louisiana is very large & easy to see. Us 20% of white folks in Louisiana make up the majority of the wealth. The southern states hold tightly onto “tradition” but I now see that the reason that is, is because 200 years ago who were the wealthy & who were the slaves? The south’s call for holding onto “tradition” is to lowkey insure that the white man stays the wealthy & the black man stays poor. The south is also notorious for the “who’s your daddy”

Game. Which in my opinion is extremely passive aggressively racist. because we all know 60 years ago their were no wealthy or well established African Americans in these states. For example my husband (who’s white) played on the LSU baseball team when he’s not even that good at baseball! .. why? Because is father was on the team. And I can tell you not one black kid was on that team. If you have a well established family in the state of LA, you can pretty much get whatever you want from lawyers to property to opening boutiques. My husbands family

Opened my eyes to this reality. Again who are these well established families in LA? The 20% of white folks. It’s funny because I’m

Someone who loves interior design & when you look at the interior design world in LA it’s 100% white & Most interior design furniture stores make you come in.. in person, for a price. 

  The thing is.. if you ask my husband if you think he’s privileged he will tell you “absolutely not”. It took me awhile to actually open my eyes & see what was really going on around me.. because it’s so subtle. 

 I’ll never forget the time me and my hubby went to go visit a few of his friends in Biloxi MS & we drove past a cemetery. The cemetery was freshly cut, flowers freshly planted, beautifully landscaped.. accept for this one portion of the cemetery that was gated off, all the tombstones knocked over, overgrown grass... and my hubby’s friend goes “that’s where they put the coons of the civil war”... my heart quite literally shattered. How could it be that the state of Mississippi could turn a side eye to things as blatant as this. I mean it’s literally THE STATES job to mow the grass in a cemetery.. and the state actually approves of that specific area not being mowed.. a sort of reminder to the black community that you are not welcome here. 

 So do I think white privileged exists.. yes I’ve seen it, but it exists in such a strategic & subtle way that ensures nobody can get called out for it. 

  Rape culture I CAN NOT STAND. Woman today have made rape culture a joke which is a damn shame. Today when a woman accuses someone of rape you have to wonder if they’re even telling the truth because of just how misused the term rape is. I am very iffy when it comes to what I actually consider rape. For example I lost my virginity at 12 years old with a 22 year old man. The first thing I asked him when I got into his car was “should I put my seatbelt on?”. However I was 100% consensual to having sex. He did not force me, I wanted it. So I do not consider that rape even though the law would. The thing about that situation is I thought I was ready but mentally & emotionally I actually was not able to handle the repercussions of such an event. To this day though I stand by it not being rape. Should he have known better? Absolutely. Was I forced to have sex? No.  

  Now with Gender bias... I absolutely believe Gender bias exists, but I believe woman have it a lot better & a lot easier when it comes to equality. (This is just my opinion from personal experience)  In my opinion if you are a young, attractive girl.. you are guaranteed to get treated in almost any situation a lot better than a man your exact age.. in the same situation. For example I was drinking and driving ( I DO NOT CONDONE THIS) however I crashed my car, totaled it & was also driving under a suspended license Bc.. well I’m not the best driver. Anyways the cops came.. literally told me they smelt alcohol on my breathe.. yet also told me they were just going to chalk all this up into an accident. They got my car towed for me & the officer drove me home... literally cracking jokes with my on the way back. I walked away without a DUI.. and not even a ticket or warning. I have to sit and wonder if it was a man in my situation.. if they would’ve gotten the same treatment. 

I’m over them but want to change the culture on gender bias and rape allegations as. 

Both incidents I was harassed in the streets and one I lost an income.

A year ago in front of 200 people my friend’s sister and her boyfriend said I beat up, raped and locked her in a room which got me banned from twitch.tv where I was making £300 a week. I originally thought it was just a weird joke but people took it serious.

When I was 18 my ex (who was cheating while letting me pay her rent when she was unemployed and kicked out her parents)’s friends brainwashed her into thinking she was in an abusive relationship when ironically it was them trying to control her, also routinely accused me of cheating with no evidence. Being immature, I reacted in a way that gave they wanted. They’d quiz her “has he ever hit you”, “does he ever shout at you”, “does he ever get angry”, “does he ever break things”, “does he scare you”. Another one of my ex’s then used this as leverage to depict me as a “mental abuser” when if either on of us was that, t’was her. Both since apologised.