14 year old with strange thoughts. Normal or Not?

Question

My daughter is going to turn 14 in a couple months and over the past year or so she seems to hate what has become of the world. She says she embarrassed being a human. She hates that women get abused from males so often and that theirs a 97% chance she will be abused numerous times in her life, she hates people killing and poaching animals, she hates people starving in the world, she hates liars, she hates that everyone doesn't think the same about human equality, she hates all the pollution in the world, she hates the plastics in our oceans and it goes on and on. Basically she thinks the world is screwed up and theirs nothing positive about it, nothing to look forward to. She only see's the negatives in everything. She also says she doesn't wants kids one day because they are too expensive, too demanding and their are too many people already on the planet. I'm really getting concerned for her. She doesn't seem depressed. I've talked to her and asked her to look at the positives but she refuses, she says theirs no point. I told her their is also a lot of good things in the world and people are trying to fix these problems. She has good friends, likes school so Im not sure if this is normal for her age or not. Any advice would be great.
Thank you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sounds pretty normal - and not exactly untrue.    Your daughter has moved beyond discovering you lied to her about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and is now discovering some ugly truths about the world.   She's grieving her childhood innocence and feeling really helpless in a big scary world.

Have you asked her if there are any of those issues that she'd like to work on?   Maybe she'd like to volunteer at the local animal shelter or LGBTQ community center or the local food bank or a community garden?    Maybe you could help facilitate her feeling more powerful in her world...let her find her sense of purpose and inspiration.   What about sports or music or modern dance?   What does she DO other than school?   If nothing, I'd see if I could get her interested in something other than wallowing.  (But be careful not to imply there is something wrong with the way she is!).

Kids who don't have a sense of control or purpose are the ones I worry about.  Those are the ones I worry about cutting, eating disorders, promiscuity, vandalism, theft...anything to feel a sense of their own power.

No one here knows if your kid is ok or if she's going to jump off a bridge or shoot up a grocery store.   Talk to her.   Tell her you love her just as she is.  Ask her if there is anything she needs.    And of course seek professional help if you remain concerned.

It might be a good idea to have a little chat with a teacher or two that she likes and if you feel they will be discreet, perhaps the parent of her best friend.   Just to touch base and have them let you know if they have concerns about her.    We all wear different faces and others may know her differently than you do.

Bugs · Answer

You can also ask her what she personally plans to do to fix whatever problems. It's not sarcastic. I think about that all the time.

Philomel · Answer

This is called Puberty. It is normal for 14 YO girls to do this. She is lost between Childhood and Adulthood. It is called TEENhood or just plain HOOD. You cannot fix it for her, stop trying to fix it.
When she gets into her rant, Just listen. get what she is saying. Do nothing. You already have done and are doing what is necessary.
She will try to suck you into the Chaios.
Do not buy her problem, Just listen. write it down then burn the notes. Not in front of her.
She is normal. A psychiatrist can Tell you this for several thousand $. But you already know it.

Anonymous · Answer

she needs to wake up because sorry this is the real world and has been like this since... over 100 years even more, but that past doesn't concern her since she's in 2021 and only 14.... she just sounds like a negative 14 year old, woe is me, pity me, look at me i'm such a bada*s. so depressive....

? · Answer

When you look for the light you will always find it but when you look for the darkness, that is all you see.
So many good things happened to me that she probably never had yet.  I met the love of my life and married her.  I have two beautiful children (in Canada children are free, pets cost more)  she needs to start looking around.  Men get abused too.  Kids today are all so blind to the world

Tarkarri · Answer

I am 62 and agree with nearly all those views.
I am  normally an optimist but finding it challenging to find a positive  outlook for the world at the moment.

? · Answer

Time to turn off t.v. and social media and reintroduce her to literacy. She is becoming a liberal nutcase. Church would help too, (not a liberal one).

14 year old with strange thoughts. Normal or Not?

7 Answers