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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 weeks ago

Should I accept this behavior from my boyfriend ? ?

So last weekend I had a bday celebration  for my birthday at my house....I had invited  my boyfriend Of two years... he always working out of town and a lot of hours. So the times I do spend time with him are only on the weekends. Well that weekend was my celebration party.... my bf came down and I had told him prior about the party. Well that day came, I didn’t hear from my boyfriend.  I kept on calling him to see what time was he coming but no I didn’t hear from him all day.. what made it worse was that I had told my family he was coming and they kept on asking me so I felt so embarrassed coz it was already late... well I was so sad! Anyways the next morning he called me telling me that he was sooooo sorry and that he was asleep all day long at home and he lost track of time.....I accepted this apology however he didn’t even think of stopping by at my house to just see me since he was already going to leave out of town to work agian. 

40 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    You cannot possibly be so naive...or can you?

    Girl, if this and the other red flags do not slap you in the face, than you are one humungous fool.

    if you accept the lonliness and the lies, then don't complain. 

    No one is ever going to respect you until you begin respecting yourself.

    Stop wasting your VALUABLE life on that loser.

    You deserve to be treated better, that's for damn sure.

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    Honestly if your boyfriend really cared about you he would of took the effort to show up/ Or at least call to give you a reason...there are other things that you would know and we don't...is he socially anxious? does he have anxiety that could of crippled him from going?...you need to figure out if that excuse is bullshit or if it is genuine and if it's not a repeating behavior then I wouldn't think too much into it...but if it is a reoccuring theme in your relationship...then I would dive deeper into the meaning of this in relation to the other parts of your relationship

  • 2 weeks ago

    I dunno...u choose...technically its not our choice lol but I personally would talk to him...in person. find a time on a nice day and talk to him make sure theres no reason whatsoever for him to be busy. JUST ASK it may be hard, but it will help......

    :)

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    His behaviour and your criticism of him to strangers suggests that you are barely compatible.

    Maybe time to call it a day 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Janet's answer is good wisdom for long term relationships, but I don't know that your bf has earned that level of commitment yet from you. 

    To be honest, when I read your post, I thought he was more likely with someone else than asleep. Of course, I don't know that. You know better than we do whether he's a keeper, so you will have to make a decision, and then live with the consequences. 

  • 2 weeks ago

    I think he's a douchebag and you deserve better. He knew for weeks in advance when your birthday was and he didn't make you a priority because he sucks and he's not a good boyfriend. You deserve better than someone who gives pathetic excuses and has poor time management skills. If i were you i would dump him he doesn't sound trustworthy anyways or reliable.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    No, I highly doubt he missed all of your calls for the whole day.

    Someone who views you as a priority makes time for you even when they have none and will sacrifice sleep and time for their self.

    My husband is a Cardiologist who works a good 70+ hours a week.  He still makes time for me even when he has none to himself.  He doesn't blow of my birthday or things that might be important to me.  He knows that like most people my birthday is the same date every year and the weekend before/after if we have plans for it he will make sure he's not working then.  Worse case scenario is he'd have another physician cover his on call for a few hours so he could take me to dinner at least (but in all likelihood I'd just forgo it at that point or do something a different day).  He could work 14 hours and be exhausted from work but he will still sacrifice the sleep to listen to me complain or vent something even if the problem is him and even if there's absolutely nothing he can do or offer the situation.  Say he had plans with me and then a friend of his would be in town for something and want to catch up with him..  he will tell them no.  He's never cancelled plans with me for someone or something else.  He was also like this when we were dating.  Aside from his job, he puts me before anything and anyone.

    By the way, I do all of that for him too.

    Be with someone who makes you their priority ..  not an option.  You're the main course, not a side dish.

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    He's probably screwing around on you! I am sure that this scenario is easier to imagine now that he forgot your bday!

  • 2 weeks ago

    I wouldn't accept that behavior at all. How does he forget your BD? That and the fact that not only he didn't plan a party, get together, a date night out for your Birthday, or even giving you a card or a gift is NOT okay. 

    You've been with him 2 years and he still hasn't met your family?! 

    Plus his always working out of town, you kept trying to call him and he couldn't be reached....all of these are major flags. He is very inconsiderate to say the least, and I really think he is seeing someone else. I'd ghost him and find someone who is considerate, a non cheater and honest. God luck.

  • 2 weeks ago

    He was probably tired. He probably has a busy schedule and found time to rest for a few hours

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