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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 week ago

Your daughter just had her first baby,but is unsure of when she wants to have baby #2.When would it be best for her to have the second baby?

Given her circumstances:

-She is currently young and still in medical school.-Her first baby was born 2 months ago and she is breastfeeding.-Her husband is also unsure of when to have another baby, although they both want a second baby eventually.-Is it better for her to try to have the second baby soon after the first, say 12-21 months apart, to wait until the kids are 4+ years apart or to choose a time frame somewhere in between?

12 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 week ago
    Favourite answer

    My daughter would have the right to make her own choices on this issue.  I don't run her life.

    But, if my daughter would ask for my input - I would tell her that there is nothing wrong with having children that are spaced a little farther apart.  Of course - she would also know this for herself since she is almost five years older than her sister.  My advice would be to finish school and getting career started before adding a second child into the family.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    My and my sister a 2.5 years +6 days apart.  Very average age gap for siblings

  • garry
    Lv 6
    1 week ago

    how old is she , 18 for the first is good , can they afford another one , does she stop at 2 or wants 6 , will he husband divorce her if he doesnt want another yet or at all . my sister had 1 at 21 and the twins 15 years later .

  • L
    Lv 5
    1 week ago

    Two to four years apart is about normal.

  • 1 week ago

    Never, one kid is enough self torture already 

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    It takes about $233,000 to raise a baby to 18 these days so income is a big issue and since she is still in school, one child is enough for now anyway.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 week ago

    As the other answers said, your daughter needs to make a choice: Either to become a career woman or house wife. Med school is stressful enough as it is, let alone caring for a child. Most couples cannot afford to put their kids in daycare. There's usually a clear line between people who are well established (have a house, respected career, etc.) before bringing children into the picture. They're typically much more successful in life.

    It's frightening that this couple is going into the medical field and don't know about birth control.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    Your daughter wasn't smart to start a family while she was still in med school. That's my first comment. My brother is a doctor, and he didn't even GET MARRIED until after he and his wife (who was his classmate) graduated and started their residencies. How in blazes your daughter expects to be able to manage caring for an infant while doing her clinical rotations eludes me, as it should you- not to mention her husband, who I presume is also a medical student. People in medical school don't control their lives- the SCHOOL they attend does that. I saw that with my brother, and with other friends I have that have been through medical school. And if your daughter has completed her second year, then the most intensive part of her training is still in front of her. She's going to have days over the next couple of years when she'll be so exhausted from work that she can't even remember her own name, or what day it is. And she won't be getting PAID for being an intern- no intern IS EVER paid. Instead, SHE and your son in law will be the ones doing the paying- and not just in terms of money, either. And she's expecting to be able to take care of a nursing infant on top of all THIS? Is she out of her fricking MIND??? For that matter, are YOU out of YOURS??

    Your daughter needs to WAIT to get pregnant again until AFTER she's through with her internship (the clinicals I just mentioned) and has at least begun her residency. If she's planning on entering one of the surgical specialties, she needs to wait even LONGER, because she'll have to do at least one or two surgical residencies in addition to the regular medical one. Yes, this will mean a long gap between pregnancies and the children's ages, but the alternative is her being so overwhelmed with work and family pressures that she ends up dropping out of school and wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loan money. Since that money is NOT dischargeable through bankruptcy, she WILL have to pay it back eventually.

    People who want to be doctors are usually smart enough and sensible enough to avoid situations like the one your daughter has now found herself in. It's unfortunate for her and for you that she couldn't, for whatever reason. This does not bode well for her future in medicine, because it's a sign of immaturity on both your daughter's and son in law's parts. It tells me that they weren't mature enough to use common sense (and contraception) when they had sex. That's not the behavior of adults who want to be professionals- it's the behavior of irresponsible TEENAGERS. I'm sorry that YOU are in this situation, Ma'am. Your daughter and son in law have acted like kids themselves, and they are going to pay a big price for doing so. As someone else on here said, it's scary to see two people (or maybe it's just your daughter) planning on medical careers who either don't know about or don't have the sense to use contraception when this is necessary.

    What could your daughter have been thinking when she and the hubby had sex? That she was Superwoman? That somehow, she'd be able to manage having a nursing baby at home while she was spending 16, 18, and sometimes 24 hours per day working at whichever teaching hospital is part of the med school? I get it, she probably thought she was invincible, and that this would never happen to her. WRONG. On so many counts. For your part, instead of encouraging them to have another baby, you might want to consider suggesting that they give their current one up for adoption, so that he or she will at LEAST have a chance of having a stable home to grow up in. Otherwise, I don't see good things on the horizon here for anyone- and the baby will pay the biggest price of all.

  • y
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    What is best, is what those two deem is best for their families. Whether it is a year or ten years down the road.  There is no best.

  • Sandy
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    none of my business. that's between my daughter and her husband, especially if they aren't living in my house.

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