Do I qualify for a California CCW Permit with MDD?

I have Major Depressive Disorder with a history of suicidal thoughts and actions. I've been medicated for it for 8-9 years now and have not had such thought for over the duration of a year. Given the increasing amount of mass shootings, I no longer feel safe walking out in public areas such as movie theaters, malls, grocery stores, etc. and would like to legally carry. I noticed that there is a disqualifying factor of having "mental illness", but I have never in my entire life had any recorded homicidal thoughts or tendencies. Does this disqualify me from even starting the process? I just simply don't feel safe anymore in this country.