BRIAN S

It is rumoured that the collapse of Fanny May and Freddie Mack mortgage companies was engineering by the republicans to discredit the democrats, who believe in a watered down socialism.

Unfortunately, this had unintended consequences and panic gripped the whole of the global financial services sector within days.

Now that the end of the American election is in sight, it is predicted that a democrat victory will stabilise the global markets.

Where did this rumour start?

Thank you for voting me in.

Fuel is now vitually unaffordable, but this doesn't effect me.

Food costs are rising rapidly, but don't effect me.

Housing values are falling, but this doesn't effect me.

Pensions are nearly wiped out by goverment action, but this doesn't effect me.

My pension is inflation proof, yours isn't.

Travel costs are rising, but this doesn't effect me.

You can't smoke in your pub, but I can.

My pay will rise above inflation this year.

My allowances are tax free and cover virtually anything.

If my allowances are withdrawn, my salary will be increased to cover the loss.

I can decide on the amount of tax you pay.

I have no skills or training.

I only work for half the year.

I earn three times the national average, because I'm worth it.

Why don't you become an MP?

Is it possible that Hamilton's car was deliberately slowed down by action in the pits to ensure that Alonso won, but the action backfired?

Yorkshire police officers have been caught 27 times by speed cameras. The force has allowed the defence that they can't identify the driver. Presumably, Yorkshire magistrates now have to admit this defence for all drivers?

The views of the yorkshire felons would be appreciated.