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Have you ever notived the music of a waterfall?
The waterfall
One day when I was walking, I heard a wonderful sound
But unknown where it was coming from as it was all around
I listened to it very carefully and pin pointed the real source
Then gently walked towards it, I looked in wonder, it was a waterfall
At first it sounded like a piccolo, a violin and a harp
The rhythm softy sweeping, kept in time with my beating heart
As I walk along the edge, the music suddenly changed it’s tune
The beat in me grew faster like a trumpet loudly playing some romantic blues
The water ran much faster, I had trouble keeping up the pace
The sound of a drummer, a guitar and a bass were leading this fruitful race
At last I got to the waterfalls edge and much to my surprise
An orchestra was playing there right before my eyes
There were trumpets, trombones, violins, more than I could see with music all around
What was yet to come, the crescendo, the cymbals and drums gave a crashing sound
A waterfall is not a thing that just crashes to the ground
Listen to the music it makes not only in the air, but deep inside of you, even all around.
Peter Houghton 13/02/2008
Please do not discredit my work with a couple of words, if you have nothing to say, please don't answer, Many thanks, Peter
3 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavourite answer
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000QZBZIU/ref=dm... I played this sample while reading words. Beautiful. Thankyou for putting a smile on my face.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
If you're about 12 years old then it's not bad. If you're any older then it looks like the work of a 12 year old. Sorry, just being honest.
Why give me the thumbs down?
It's not very good. Would you rather I lied? Your use and arrangement of words is child-like e.g. the symbols and drums GAVE a crashing sound? Is that really the best verb you could have used? You are writing about the great crescendo yet making it sound like it all ends with a whimper.
You have to be able to accept criticism if you want to improve your work. Granted, you may not rate my critique as being valuable but you'll find that many would agree with me.