A man went into the pet shop " I am playing Long John Silver?

in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder" he said.

"I don't have any parrots at the moment , but you wouldn't want a real parrot for that. It would squawk in all the wrong places , poop on your shoulder and generally be a nuisance. What you need is a stuffed parrot . Just as realistic and easily controlled."

"Are you sure a stuffed parrot would be OK ? " asked the customer " I do want this performance to be as realistic as possible ."

" I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine " said the pet shop owner " I have one at home . I'll bring it in and if you come back on Thursday you can have it ".

" Sorry " said the customer " I can't make it on Thursday . That's the day I'm having my leg cut off ."