Death of a hard@ss:To remember or not to remember?

I recently went to a funeral of a family member. In his life he was pretty hard, serious, a bit of a curmudgeon.

But in the obituary it seems like his daughter painted a rosier image of him, and I don't mean just slightly or as if she was having a post-mortem idealization of this guy out of grief, I mean like she actually took personality traits he didn't have or perhaps of a father she wishes she could've had instead of actually describing his real good points, which maybe she'd forgotten. While this is a bit harsher than he actually was, imagine going to Scrooge's funeral and the obit instead sounds like Carrot Top, wtf?

How should I feel about this? Is it actually ok to make up things about the dead like this? Shouldn't we just focus on the truth of the person? Isn't the darkest truth still better and more weighty than the most pleasing lie? Isn't making up things about the way a person was kind of disrespectful? Like who that person was just wasn't good enough so now that they're gone and can't argue with it we're just going make you who we like because you weren't good enough for us? Since a person is dead are we really suppose to just pretend they had any faults (out of respect)?

HELP!!!