What's the point in living if the one thing you want is impossible?

I'm not a counsellor and I doubt anyone else here is so answering this question is a bit dangerous and I hope everyone bears that in mind when they answer.

This is a terrible situation that nobody would ever wish on anyone however there comes a point where you have to make your own life and choose your own path. Unconditional love is often talked about but it is nobody's right to have it and I am not sure it exists, everyone should be judged based on their actions once they get to a certain age.

Although you have clearly had a hard time growing up, now is the time to decide whether you let it ruin the rest of your life or if you are ready to really start living the way you want it. You can find love but you need to be happy with yourself first. Saying your life is pointless would only be true if you could never achieve anything worthwhile, never influence anybody in the world and never have a moment of enjoyment. We both know that this is very far from the truth.

You need to set yourself some targets of what would make you happy in your life and start changing things to make sure you are working towards them. It wont be easy but nothing worthwhile ever is.

I really hope you can stick with it and try to see what life could have in store for you in the future, you have so much to live for and to give to others. Listen to your counsellor and give it your all and things will improve.

Hello,

So sorry to hear that you feel so low. When we have a deep yearning for something that seems so elusive - a distant dream almost, it can feel as though life has lost all hope and meaning when we reach out and can find nothing to cling onto. Sadly, you seem to be in this terrible place right now.

Nobody can truly understand how you feel, even if they are in a similar situation, but it really can make a difference to share some of the hurt and pain with other people who might at least try to understand. You've already been so brave in sharing some of it with us, so why not keep at it?

It was interesting to note that only your counsellor and key worker make you feel less alone. What is it they offer, that nobody else does? Is it just the time and space to be you maybe?

It's not easy to cope with suicidal feelings and many people never even dare mention them. The mere fact that you are prepared to mention these thoughts is a positive start (even though it might not feel that way). You say that you're getting closer each day - have you gone as far as making any plans? Difficult subject to talk about, but keep at it. Don't try to deal with it all alone... a number of people have already replied, so it shows that people care enough to be here for you.

You start from the assumption that Paul and the bible are right... That''s an assertion, not a given truth. And I'm well familiar with Paul's argument in Romans 1:18-32. Apparently anyone, such as I, who does not find God obvious in nature and the night sky is firstly deceiving themselves at some level of consciousness and secondly a complete moral monster. I don't think I'm deceiving myself: I can look around at see *at the least* a distinct possibility of a cold indifferent universe. And Christian theology has to rely on the doctrine of "The Fall" to cover all the myriad pieces of "creation" that manifestly are *not* the work of an omnipotent and benevolent being. Which rather impinges on Paul's case. Apart from being very suspiciously convenient. But anyway, according to Paul I am: futile, foolish, sinful, impure, degraded, lustful, indecent, perverted, depraved in mind, wicked, evil, greedy, envious, murderous, strifeful, deceitful, malicious, gossiping, slanderous, insolent, arrogant, boastful, disobedient to parents, senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. (And I've missed a few) I did get a speeding ticket, once, fifteen years ago, but oddly I get on well with my parents. I am also an unpaid volunteer with two charities: an odd thing for a moral monster to do. But I must be such, if Paul and the bible are right. If.

Are you employed? If so, you're worth something to someone, even if it's as crass as an exchange of your time and skill for someone's money.

A lot of times, we feel depressed because we don't see where we fit into the universe; we feel we lack a purpose, and watching others flit about their own "busy" lives makes the feeling even more acute.

The trick to remember is, we are all of us equally "worthless" -- one day, the sun will burn out, and the Earth will freeze over. Then who will remember even the greatest human that ever lived (whomever that might be)? Thus, the key is to learn from the past, enjoy the present, and plan a bit for the future. If you can do that, it's all anyone could really ask of you.

It sounds like you're just going through that one difficult thing each of us must eventually learn -- no matter whom or what you surround yourself with in this life, you are ultimately, truly alone. It sounds like you are just in the process of learning to appreciate that fact. It's tough, but you will totally make it. If it helps you feel any better, you're further along than me (I'm older, and just starting to "get it"). :-)

P.S. I'm not saying "get a job and all your problems will be solved", but employment is an excellent way to feel like you are "part of something". A pet has been suggested, but I disagree with keeping animals captive just because we haven't learned to cope with ourselves. Love yourself first, and you won't be dependent on love from another life form. ;-)

When I read your question, it was like I was 23 again, writing about the exact same thing. Exact same thing. My bio mom took off on me and my dad dumped me off at my grandparents' house. All I ever wanted was my Mom. She went off and had other kids and even tho she knows where I am now, still wants nothing to do with me. Sh*t like this happens all the time. But you do have choices about how you live your life moving forward.

The advice you got about re-parenting yourself was sort of right. You do have to go ahead with your life now and fill in the blanks as you go. I had a long road ahead of me when I started out, at your age. I am 40 now, and when I look back at my life, I am actually pretty proud of all the work I did for myself, and how I turned out as a person, NO THANKS to the losers that were supposed to be my parents.

I have two daughters. Raising them helped me fill in those blanks that I felt I missed during my own childhood. Here's the thing. You can't fill that void exactly. But what you can do is fill it with things that are better, you know? See it as an opportunity to custom build your own "Self" !

Don't get all wrapped up in what you don't have. That will drag you down and keep you sick if you let it. Shake all that off and start over new. As for suicidal feelings, I totally know where you've been with that, and it's not something to take lightly. Get professional help for those dangerous moments. But once you're on the other side of those feelings, do some positive work on the person you want to turn yourself into. It is possible, and you really can do it. Best of luck to you!

I've helped someone out of almost the exact same situation as you (age difference and you have professional help), over an MMORPG, no less! But really, a public place like this won't see any such thing.

Just know that if you're willing to share yourself with someone willing to help you and listen, you'll get through it. Get yourself out there! Online friends make a good start because you can control how much of yourself you give away and when.

This might sound kinda stupid, but if you want unconditional love, why don't you try getting a pet? I have a dog that while the world is so crappy and makes me feel like no one loves me, when I see and am around my dog, I feel so loved by her, unconditional love and it just makes life a little easier to bear. You can have unconditional love from someone too. I take it you do not have a significant other. Try and get out there more, they are there for you at all times once you find one, which I know can be hard. But it doesn't mean that it is impossible like you say.

Because adults normally have more than one goal in life.

If you want unconditional love, a being that never tells you are wrong and follows you around-get a dog!

Do you want your happiness to depend on another person? Imagine how on edge you'd be, knowing if they ever went your life would be meaningless. You are setting your expectations in others far too high. It sounds like you realise this, and only YOU can really make yourself happy.

This neediness will drive a special person who could help you to feel secure away. People are generally not drawn to unhappy people, who have tons of problems and are shouting about their misery and declaring that their life is empty. They will assume that if they get close you will not have anything to offer them other than bring them down with you.

Unconditional love is love regardless of who you are and what you do. Even if you kill or rape or abuse or behave like an utter animal, someone who loves you unconditionally will still love you. That sort of love is really only experienced between close family and it's not necessarily a healthy thing. Being loved unconditionally is nothing to do with being worthwhile or worthless or lovable or unlovable, it has nothing to do with who you are. If you haven't experienced unconditional love from your family, it is nothing to do with who failings in yourself.

Conditional love is someone loving who you are, the characteristics that you posess and the way that you make them feel. We have conditional love with partners and with friends. You can earn peoples love through being a good friend and a loving partner. In many ways, this is more meaningful because they love you for you.

It sounds like you don't feel confident that you are a person worthy of love from your friends and feel that the only way that you could be loved and secure is through unconditional love from family that is there regardless of what you do, how you act and who you are.

Have more faith in yourself. If you are a good person and a good friend, people will love and care for you.

Trust me, you'll eventually find someone who loves you. Don't kill yourself, your life will one day pick-up and get better, even if you can't see it now, and nobody is worthless and im sure a cute girl like you isn't unlovable only confused