SH2007

I am asking this question in this forum as my counsellor recommended I ask it somewhere neutral to see what responses I get.

Because I was abused as a child, I decided to try and express that in a way that was a bit outside the box. I bought a doll who I was trying use as a physical representation of myself that I could take to therapy to show my counsellor how that part of me feels/felt.

I wrote words on the doll like shame, disgust, hate, pain, dirty etc. I had an outfit on the doll that covered this up and I explained how this also showed that whats on the inside and outside can be very different.

My Counsellor said it was very disturbing to do this, that it was somehow abusive, that she wouldn't leave her children with anyone who could do this, that it would be seen my outsiders as something that wasn't ok.

what is your opinion? Keeping in mind it was only to be used to take to therapy with me. I would appreciate as many responses as possible.

Thanks

I dont think its a big deal but I take effexor 300mgs daily Iusually take 150 in the morning and 150 at night but I i woke up very early this morning and must have taken 150 and then went back to sleep and forgot and took another 150... so basically i took my days worth all in the morning. If i just dont take anymore for today will it be fine?

Im 24, although i havent had surprises since i was about 9 years old, except maybe the odd gift from a friend. My parents dont bother with it and this morning none of us opened any presents....is this normal? What age did you stop getting suprises and gifts on christmas morning??

I used to self harm in many different ways, one such way was to light a match, let it burn and then blow it out and hold it to my skin while it was still hot to feel the pain....has anyone else ever done this?

Hi,

I was just wondering...

Have you ever felt stigmatised or negatively treated by caring professionals because they know you are Borderline? Have you ever felt infact that you weren't given treatment you needed because they felt it was attention seeking or manipulative borderline behaviour? Please give examples if you have any.

Or in fact do you feel understood as someone with BPD?

I am just curious to know as I have BPD and I find it's negitively dealt with by professionals most of the time.

all the best

x

Hi,

I do not have a blu-ray player and have never bought a blu-ray disc. The issue is a film I want to buy is being released on DVD+blu-ray with dvd packaging and Blu-ray + DVD with blu-ray packaging, almost a month before the plain dvd is being released!

Does DVD +blu-ray (with DVD packaging) mean that there is actually a normal dvd in the box that can be played on regular dvd players??

Thanks

Hi,

whilst in my last therapy/counselling session, my therapist started on a topic she knows makes me uneasy. The thing was I was already in a low and agitated form and she was aware of this. After about 10 minutes of talking about the subject i told her I didnt want to talk about it because I just felt she was getting at me. However she kept on the subject and wouldn't let it go. It wasnt an extremely sensitive issue but to me I said I didnt want to discuss it. I understand they are allowed to challenge you but did she cross a boundary? I am really angry about it.

what do you think?

I have asked a question about this before but I am finding it really hard lately

I have a great counsellor, I see weekly and I have tried to be very organised with what i need to talk about but theres just never enough time to get through even half of it and I am leaving sessions still carrying the stuff I need to say back out the door with me. Its not that i am not talking about things I need to but the time goes so quickly that there is literately no time to cover things. The problem is then sometimes the things never get said at all because the following week or two theres more to get through! Having more sessions per week isnt really practical and I dont want to get dependant on it. I guess theres no answer really because i dont want to rush through everything i need to say because thats no productive either..arghhhhh!!

I got pulled over by the police tonight because I went through a red light(they said) which I honestly didnt see. I know I completely deserve the penalty points and the fine, I really do. I cannot help but be really upset by my own failure. I am a restricted driver and only passed my test in june, so if I get another 3 points before next june I loose my licence (and have to re-do my theory). I know its pointless now to say I am normally such a careful driver, I do the correct limits for restrcited drivers, whilst I watch others speed past me.

I am waiting until other people in my house go to bed so I can self harm as a punishment for being such a complete failure in everything! I deserve it. If I could beat myself up good enough I would.

I dont really want anything as an answer, theres not much for anyone to say, i just needed to say it to someone

Hi,

I am seeing a counsellor Privately because I don't find the NHS support enough to help me. I understand the concept of what counsellors usually see clients for 50minutes and not longer - because a client is more likely to focus more if they are time limited and for many 50 minutes is considered long enough to focus on material which can be distressing etc. Also for the counsellor perhaps they feel it is long enough...but I don't find it is long enough and I am struggling.

I feel it takes me at least 10-15 minutes to settle into a session and I am usually very quiet for that period and my thoughts seem hard to focus...that leaves about 35 minutes to cover anything, which may as well be 5 minutes as it seems far too short. I often find I cannot get things I need to discuss covered and then they get ignored and I carry them back out of the session with me, which is heart breaking and frustrating!!

Does anyone else feel this way?

I dont feel it would make a difference if I told my counsellor as she would probably not change the time frame, as a matter of boundaries etc so what should I do?

Hi,

I see 2 professionals for mental health issues, a support worker and counsellor.

Both are very professional and friendly people but they both have one major difference - self disclosure- telling you things about themselves.

My support worker will tell me things about herself and her life in our sessions, which makes her seem more human and can make the atmosphere more relaxing. Don't get me wrong she doesn't sit and talk all about herself but when its appropriate she will use her own life as an example to explain things to me.

My counsellor on the other hand does not talk about herself at all, in fact she is the completely opposite. She is very friendly but appart from her qualifications and stuff I dont know much about her, even though I have known her for just as long as the other worker.

I know it is not essential to know about the professional helping you, as the therapy is about the client and it is not a friendship but sometimes its nice to feel you know the person helping you a bit more and that they trust you to let you know simple things about themselves.

What do you think? Have you experienced professionals who do self disclose, who don't or are somewhere in the middle? Which do you think is better and why?

Just asking out of interest :)

Hi,

I am feeling really rotten, like pretty awful in fact and basically what makes it worse is I don't feel there's a point in asking for help. I am not going to commit suicide but it doesn't mean I don't feel like life is not worth living and everythings hopeless.

I have a counsellor who told me I should ring her and not a helpline when I am feelin really bad but what is the point? Telling her over the phone that I feel awful won't change it, she will go off the phone and go on with her day and I will still feel alone and like crap, so in fact it's probably easier telling a stranger.

Also professionals are great at telling you to 'ring when you need help' but then they get annoyed at you ringing and being needy, so I don't bother ringing them at all because I was punished a few years ago for ringing my keyworker (mental health social worker) too much and relying on her so they removed her....it was very traumatic for me and so I don't ring anyone anymore for help, apart from a helpline once in the past year, but they are strangers anyway.

I guess I know I won't benefit from saying to someone on the phone " I feel awful". Family and friends are a no go so basically I am alone with it.

Do you feel asking for help works for you and who do you go to when feeling very low and depressed?

put people's names at the start of sentences when talking, to them or texting.emailing etc

for example if I was telling you something and said "connor would you empty the dish washer" or "amy yes I did get your text" etc I think its very patronising, what do you think??

I hate people putting my name in texts

All my life, since 3 or 4 years old I have wanted someone to be there for me, to love me unconditionally and although I had a family they were all so seprate it didnt feel like one. my own mum smothered me for her own comfort and always put herself before me without even realising it. When I was old enough I became her parent, so I always felt I didnt have one. my dad is there but non exisitant. The need to feel secure and cared for is so unbelievably strong and overwhelming because it has been there my whole life (23 now). I am seeing a counsellor but basically I am being told to re-parent myself and I feel so gutted and alone realising the only thing I ever wanted is impossible and nothing fills the void. I have friends etc and I do care for them but no one in my life makes me feel less alone, appart from my counsellor and keyworker and they are only there because its there job.

I attempted suicide a few years ago and although I am not on the knife edge I am getting closer each day now, theres just no point living such a horrible pointless life anymore. :(

I feel worthless and unlovable.

As a child I sometimes cut the gental area on my girl dolls with scissors. I would hide it from people so they couldnt see but I felt at the time that I was doing the right thing for the doll! I remember once scribbling over the area in a red pen to represent blood.

I don't have very vivd memories of being sexually abused but in appropriately fondled on one occasion when about 3/4 years old.

Is it likely these actions were just by a curious child exploring sexuality and body parts or do you think it was because of something more sinister?

I dont know the answer so I am not predicting that people's answers on here are going to be accurate or correct but I just wanted to know people's opinion.

Thanks

On my last session with my counsellor ( who I pay privately to see) I felt a bit upset as there had been quite a large gap in our sessions due to holidays. I wasn't expecting to cry, as I don't usually but I did. I told her I had found the break was a lot harder than I expected it to be, as I do everything I can to not be dependant on professional support etc.

Anyway I was being honest and said that even though I know it is very wrong, the people or relationships I value most is with her and my key worker (for mental health). I explained how I know this is pathetic and that it should be my friends and family but I can't help my emotions.

Anyway she said that I need more fulfilling relationships and basically her advice was to start going out at night to pubs and stuff and look for a boyfriend ( i have never had one and I am in in my early 20's). I don't want a boyfriend and I dont want to do this either. I felt really upset that she basically thinks I can just fix my emotional struggles with getting a boyfriend!

What do you think? Was she wrong? Would this have annoyed or upset you? Or do you think she was right to say this?

Thanks

Hi,

I want to start buy saying I know the rational side of attachments to professionals like counsellors and key workers etc. I know that the relationship is professional, that if boundaries are crossed it will make treatment less affective, I know that dependancy is bad, I know that transference and gratitude and a certain amount of attachment is also normal etc.I am not without reason, I know the truth of the matter and I try really hard to not be dependant on them but I always seem to be, even though I dont contact them outside of sessions or anything like that

I have had a break in my support system for 3 weeks now and its been really hard at times! one ofmy support people is on holidays and another cancelled as she was off sick (as per usual this year). I don't ring or ask anyone for help anymore even if I need it in between sessions and I dont cross boundaries. However I know that my life feels so meaningless without people like my counsellor there to give me a purpose, to have someone to tell things to without judgement and to feel someone is there for you.

Before you say it - yes I have friends, I spend time with them, I talk to them but they dont understand and I often get derogitary remarks from them. My family do not understand and they are part of the problem. I have tried using alternative 'real' people but it doesnt change anything

I do things to occupy myself and I push myself to new goals and try to put meaning in my life aside from therapy...I know my life should be meaningful without it, but it's not, no matter what I do.

I thought this would change the more distant I made myself from professionals but it hasnt changed my feelings.

what should I do? I know its wrong and pathetic but it feels like the need for what i guess is unconditional positive regard is so strong I will always feel this way.

Can anyone help me?

Hi guys,

I had a cat for about 3 years and I loved him dearly but a few months ago he went missing and I was devistated. I always hope he will come back but so far there has been no sign and I tried everything - posters, asking about, ringing vets etc

Anyway I decided it might be nice to rescue a cat especially as I wanted a cat not a kitten. The nearest shelter is about 2 hours drive from me as traffic is always pretty bad on the way there. About 2 weeks ago I went with my mum and when we arrived at about 3:30pm it was closed, opening hours only 11am-3pm!!!!! (ridiculous) However they were nice enough to let us in and have a quick look around but there was no time for decisions really. I was a bit disappointed but I guess it was my fault for not finding out the opening times first.

Yesterday I decided I would go back as I had seen one or two cats on their website that I really liked so I made the long stressful journey again! the woman on reception isnt very nice and when I said I was there for a look around again as I didnt have much time the visit before she said " have you had a home visit?" this didnt make sense to me as I thought you had to reserve a cat and then they visit you...WRONG..they visit you first and until then your not allowed to even reserve a cat...so it was another completely pointless journey! No one had told us this and it doesnt say it on their site either!

A nice guy showed me around the cats anyway (even though it was pointless as I couldnt put my name down for any). There was one that I fell in love with and I would have took him without question but couldnt and wasnt allowed to reserve him so I made an appointment for a home visit which is about a week and a half away!! By then that cat is likely to have been chosen by someone else who can have a home visit done quicker as they live nearer!!!

Even after my home visit I would have to travel the whole way back to the sanctuary and reserve a cat I wanted (if there was any then that I wanted) and wait again because they dont let you take it straight home, which means another trip to collect it!!! WHAT A LOAD OF HASTLE!!

I am actually totally put off and think it is a ridiculous system when there are so many cats needing a good home! At the very least you should be allowed to reserve a cat and then they come out to check your home is ok!! I think it's far too complicated considering you can get cats and kittens elsewhere 'free to a good home'!

I understand they want to check the animal is going to a good home but do you not think this is over the top?? Also you have to pay for the cat (£25)...

Does anyone agree this is too much hastle and would put many good loving cat owners off getting a rescue cat??

Thanks (had to vent frustration)

xxx

Hi

I see my keyworker (mental health social worker) once every 2 weeks, which in reality isn't much (although I know i am lucky to even get that), however this year she has been off sick so much that every other month one of my two appointments was being cancelled, each time leaving me a month without seeing her at all. last month was the first time she had seen me for both appointments for 2 months in a row, but of course this month has started with another cancellation aka off sick!

It means I am constantly waiting on a phonecall to cancel my appointments which is pretty devistating when you wait a fortnight already to see someone only to be phoned and told they will be not be coming and not be back that week at least!

would this annoy you?? my faith in her has been badly upset. I wont change to a new keyworker though because I know how bad most of them are in the same department. I can't complain because her boss (team leader) is one of the most arogant, rude people ever! I do like my keyworker when I see her and she is a nice person..but...

I would like to know your opinion, how would you feel in this situation or how do you feel when your appointments are cancelled or you are let down by professionals??

Thanks

thanks

Hi

I see my keyworker (mental health social worker) once every 2 weeks, which in reality isn't much (although I know i am lucky to even get that), however this year she has been off sick so much that every other month one of my two appointments was being cancelled, each time leaving me a month without seeing her at all. last month was the first time she had seen me for both appointments for 2 months in a row, but of course this month has started with another cancellation aka off sick!

It means I am constantly waiting on a phonecall to cancel my appointments which is pretty devistating when you wait a fortnight already to see someone only to be phoned and told they will be not be coming and not be back that week at least!

would this annoy you?? my faith in her has been badly upset. I wont change to a new keyworker though because I know how bad most of them are in the same department.

I would like to know your opinion though

thanks