Professionals and self disclosure (Talking about themselves) your opinion?

Question

Hi, 

I see 2 professionals for mental health issues, a support worker and counsellor.

Both are very professional and friendly people but they both have one major difference - self disclosure- telling you things about themselves.

My support worker will tell me things about herself and her life in our sessions, which makes her seem more human and can make the atmosphere more relaxing. Don't get me wrong she doesn't sit and talk all about herself but when its appropriate she will use her own life as an example to explain things to me.
My counsellor on the other hand does not talk about herself at all, in fact she is the completely opposite. She is very friendly but appart from her qualifications and stuff I dont know much about her, even though I have known her for just as long as the other worker. 

I know it is not essential to know about the professional helping you, as the therapy is about the client and it is not a friendship but sometimes its nice to feel you know the person helping you a bit more and that they trust you to let you know simple things about themselves.

What do you think? Have you experienced professionals who do self disclose, who don't or are somewhere in the middle? Which do you think is better and why?

Just asking out of interest :)

dzerjb · Accepted Answer

The self-disclosure or lack of it by each is exactly in line with their training & professional requirements. Your support worker is meant to be another human to come alongside you & help you using her life experience. Your counsellor is there only to deal with your issues and not her own. If she were to start talking about herself it would skew the effect of the therapy, therefore counsellors don't talk about themselves, instead they work using professional skills & techniques they have been taught & they leave their personal lives outside the door. OK, both may seem as if they're just engaging you in conversation, but the approach of each is different & will accomplish different things.
It sounds to me as if you've got a couple of really professional people working with you.
I hope that helps.

Bronnii · Answer

It sounds to me like both are being professional.  My psychologist shares a bit about herself - mainly when talking about our dogs because one of mine was hit by a car & killed & I now have a puppy that is causing stress.  Other than that, I know she went to the USA for a holiday for a friend's wedding for a month earlier this year, that she is 31 years old & just got engaged (which I only know about because of her now wearing a ring & me saying congratulations).  My psychiatrist has also shared minimal details - that he is married, that he has 2 children (from photos in his office) & that one of his son's has autism - again in the context of the appointment because I have a non-sleeping son & he went through a period where his austic son was waking at 4am each day as my son does).

They are appropriate levels of disclosure that don't cross any boundaries as far as I am concerned & help me feel somewhat more human that I'm not the only one who stresses about these things.

It is not necessarily about the training they have received - it is more about whether what they are disclosing is appropriate & in context with the discussion (ie not turning it all around to be about them or to minimise any issues that you have) then there is no problem with it.  Most appointments nothing is said about their lives whatsoever & it really has no effect on the usefulness of the treatment I receive from either of them.

9litres · Answer

I work within the medical profession and dont actually share my personal life with my patients. I dont find it appropriate. However, that is my personal opinion.

I think as long as the counsellor is doing a good job and helping you then what difference should it make?

Professionals and self disclosure (Talking about themselves) your opinion?

3 Answers