Did my therapist cross a boundary?

Look at it like this you have been shot and the bullet is still inside you and sadly in issues like this they don't have an anaesthetic but the bullet has to come out and so the doctor will keep digging to get it even if it hurts. It isn't pleasant and it hurts like hell but it needs to be done

another way to look at it would be like a child holding a hand over cut, you need to remove the hand and clean the cut no matter how much they may not want to.

The counsellor was doing the best they could knowing this, here is the problem I can't say if they went too far only you can say that.

Ask yourself these questions

Did she do it to hurt me or to help?

Why do I think they she pushed so hard?

Has this affected the trust I have in her?

Did she go too far?

After you have done that you need to look at the answers and draw some conclusions from it and perhaps talk to her about it next time.

After that you need to ask yourself some more questions based on how you feel about it

Can I put that behind me?

Can I forgive her?

Do I want to see her again?

Only at that point should you decide if you should try and see someone else?

Sorry if that's long winded but there you have it.

Counsellors don't always get it right but at times they have to push

She did exactly the right thing. If you are allowed to withdraw from anything uncomfortable, you can't get better. You must be challenged to think about unpleasant things rather than practice avoidance. It sounds like you got a really good therapist, not one of these milk toast types so afraid to push the client that the client never gets any better. It is NORMAL for you to feel angry, but after you feel that for awhile, think about the subject in your own mind. Think about what would prompt the therapist to push on that spot. It is because it is especially sore and just like an infected wound.. all that nasty stuff has to come out for it to get well.

The real problem is that you have walled your problems off. You have put them in a place and put up barriers and said oh no, you can't touch these things. You created inappropriate boundaries that are not helping you. So it is totally appropriate that she slammed headfirst into these boundaries. There is a phrase in psychology which is the truest thing I ever heard come out of that side of medicine... Secrets keep people sick.

If you really want to benefit from therapy, you shouldn't feel like you need to keep secrets from your therapist. She probably felt that this issue was something important that you need to resolve, and your strong emotional reaction could be an indication that she was on the right track.

when you tell a therapist you dont want to talk about it to them thats like hitting the jackpot they finally found out the issue and she was trying to help you work threw your feelings rather than suppres them

No she didn't. That is what they are there to do. If you never confront this issue it will never get resolved. During your next session best prepare yourself to just be open with her about it so she can help you get over it. If you aren't ready to get over your issue then you aren't ready to see a therapist.

No, because their job is to help you resolve your issues, not to avoid them. They also aren't there to agree with you. This is why people hate their therapists sometimes. Just tell her it's bothering you.

Sounds like she was trying to find out about the problem so she could help you work through it.

Next visit tell her she made you very upset.