Struggling with the "theraputic" 50 minutes in counselling..?

I have the same problem. I take a while to open up, but it doesn't necessarily seem like it because I appear to be talking openly. I sometimes just give people what I want to hear instead of the truth because it takes me a long time to be comfortable talking about myself. So by the time I have anything genuine and important to say we have 10 or 15 minutes left, which is no time at all for the kind of things I want to say, so I don't say them at all.

I think the practical advice that another person on here gave was good though. Write things down, come in early and try and plan. Maybe try visualizing the conversation to get you warmed up or something. I'm going to give it a try, although its pretty hard as I tend to be on a tight schedule and am always rushing to get to appointments.

Hi,

I fully understand what you mean. I did psychotherapy every day from the age of 14 to 17, and I struggled with the 50 minutes too. It would seem like the therapist had just enough time to strip my defences and expose the most raw of feelings and memories, but no time whatsoever to build them up again afterwards. More than once, I found myself wandering the streets after a session, just desperate for something to take away the pain. No healing comes without a little pain, but this seemed ridiculous!

I found a solution; try and get into a group therapy session as well. You may find it useful because they tend to be longer (approximately 2 hours) and also it would give you a chance to work out anything left over from your personal session. Group therapy can be found on the NHS, and also privately, and quite often your group will contain therapists who are undergoing their own personal therapy. So you usually get a very professional response to anything you wish to discuss.

Alternatively, you could try a different kind of therapist; there are many; humanistic, psychodynamic, Gestalt etc. Humanistic and Gestalt therapists are very effective at treating the whole person and they don't tend to do that thing where they strip you bare and leave you floundering; they're very careful to close any boxes they open before you leave the session.

Hope that helps, anyway :o)

A couple of practical suggestions which may help;

Get to your appointments about 15 mins early and use that time to relax and think about what you want to discuss with the therapist, you could sit and have a coffee soemwhere if there is no waiting room at the therapists premises.

Make a list of teh things you want to discuss before you go and take it into the therapy session with you, it may help you to focus more quickly when the session starts.

Hope this helps and stick with it, it does get better.

she won't change the time frame of the session but if you make her aware she should be able to rehash the way the sessions are run so that you benefit from them. FWIW both my psychologist & psychiatrist have 30 min sessions & we manage to get all work on issues done in that time - if not then my psychologist & I have additional phone appointments.

If your counselor is unwilling to bend - even if you pay her extra - she is not working with you, which is her job. Either find a new one (yes, easier said than done), or find a good support group in the meantime. There is a group that might be in your area called Recovery, which is a donation-based support group that meets once a week. I know what you mean - it is hard for me to open up immediately as well.

All good suggestions it seems. I like a different form of therapy that one doesnt have to go through all this over and over, many painful years.

As you see her more and become more comfortable with her, you'll probably start to open up sooner and sooner every time. Good luck. Give it some time.