My partner is obsessed with his 19 year old daughter.?

My partner is obsessed with his 19 year old daughter and it's having a major affect on our relationship and his relationship with his family.

Please note his obsession is not in any way shape or form of a sexual nature.

When his daughter was born, his then wife was very possessive and would not let him have proper contact with her. He worked long hours trying to provide for his family and would often arrive home after his baby daughter was asleep in bed and leave very early in the morning before she would be woken up.

He divorced his wife when his daughter was 14 years old.

He has never had a close relationship with his daughter, but spoils her as if money is no object as far as he is concerned.

His daughter has attachment problems and cannot be independent of her mother. In her 19 years, she has never stayed away on her own, or had sleep over’s at friend’s houses or been on holiday with friends, or been on school outings where an overnight stay would be involved, as she gets physiclally sick. She does not even stay with us overnight (even at 19 years of age).

It is as if he puts his daughter on a pedestal and she is perfect in every way.

He cannot stand any criticism of her and has actually said to me, if it came to choosing between his daughter and ‘others’, he would choose his daughter over everyone (me, his mother, his family).

I don’t have a relationship with his daughter; I think it is because of they way she has been molly coddled all these years. Unfortunately I see her as spoiled and very manipulating with her parents which is very sad.

We had a family meal out recently and his daughter was nearly an hour late. We were all sitting there waiting to order our food, when she stomped in, didn’t apologise, threw a strop all evening. My partner did not say a word to her! I was fuming and said a few things, which in my opinion needed to be said. When we got home, my partner went into the living room and slammed the door. I went up to bed, and left him asleep all night downstairs. He stormed out this morning, I have no idea where he’s gone. I did speak to him and he verbally laid into me and has tried to turn it around on me!

This is normal. I know he’s angry because I dared speak my mind about his daughter’s rude behaviour.

Short of us splitting up over this, I don’t think he will change. Can I make him see that how he is being with his daughter is unhealthy on them both?

Please please help