What's with this guy? More to the point, what's with me?

Question

I have worked at a certain fast food restaurant for three years now, and have always liked this particular guy, let's call him Giovanni. At first he was a very good friend and helped me out a lot when I first started. Then, about a year ago, my feelings for him became stronger, and I started to develop a crush on him. Soon enough, a few people, including him, found out about it! The thing is, Giovanni plays up to it and when I flirt with him, he flirts right back. However, he is a natural flirt (although he denies it!) and acts very much the same around all the girls; it must be the Italian charm... For this reason, I'm not sure whether he really likes me back.

Another thing, I'm not quite sure how to handle this crush. I am very professional and can hold together my laughter and (usually!) my dizziness in front of the customers (in fact it helps me smile around customers, which has been difficult for me as I have been having a tough time of late), but when he says something, looks at me in a certain way, or catches me looking at him, I tend to blush, or start laughing. Like this afternoon; I was saying goodbye to him, and he said goodbye in what I can only describe as a flirty way, and I just giggled like an idioit. I walked out of the staffroom and out the building, inwardly cursing myself for being so stupid. Another thing that embarrasses me is that one colleague in particular, teases me relentlessly about it, and even addresses me as "Mrs [Giovanni's surname]" sometimes. This is funny to a point, but it does get irritating.

So, because of what Giovanni is like, I'm not sure whether to bite the bullet and ask him out, through fear of rejection. He's had tough times in relationships as well so I don't blame him if he just doesn't want to know. I don't want to embarrass myself, or him, and damage the friendship we have. How do I approach this? I just need some outsider's advice. Thanks! :D

? · Accepted Answer

Hi,
Try not to give yourself too much of a hard time for acting silly around him. This happens to the best of us! It's only natural when you really like someone. Even the most confidant, intelligent person can clam up or start giggling like a hyena when confronted with their crush. Wit and composure seems to desert us when we need it most!
But I would advise you to try to keep your cool, and flirt a little less. Right now he knows that you like him (as does the whole restaurant!). He likes the ego boost so he encourages it. Please do not ask him out. Like you say, you risk your friendship - but you also risk making your working environment awkward. You say yourself that he is a flirt, and you can't be sure of his feelings. But I have no doubt that he is aware of yours - and he is enjoying the power he has over you. If he wanted to, he would do something about it and ask you out himself. The fact that doesn't most likely means that he is just loving all the attention.
Your best bet is to be a little bit less available. If you can't control the blushing or the giggling, then try to distance yourself as best you can. Let him come to you. If he's interested, he'll let you know.

Anonymous · Answer

Since you both work at a fast food restaurant, lunch is not a good suggestion. Look at the schedule and see when is the next time both of your shifts end at the same time (or when his shift ends after yours). Tell him you will be going to the coffee shop down the street at (time when his shift ends tomorrow) and maybe you'll see him there. 

This is a harmless invitation without actually asking, so there is zero risk of rejection. Either he shows up or he doesn't. Meanwhile, be polite but do NOT flirt again unless he meets you for coffee.

What's with this guy? More to the point, what's with me?

2 Answers