The grammar school debate?

Question

My husband and I live in the same area we grew up in, and our children are currently at the same primary school we attended.  In those days, kids from our school didn't take an 11+ exam, we all just went to the local comprehensive.  Nowadays though, it is far more the done thing to try for grammar school in our area.  Our eldest daughter, now in year five, is showing signs of being rather clever.  
My husband and I are both also gifted with high IQs and we each had very different experiences of secondary school.  I enjoyed school life and relished my 'cleverness', and had a good group of friends, though I have realised there was a feeling of "we are not the same as normal people" and "those are the people that run things" you know the kind of thing - the kids smoking behind the bike sheds seemed to be the advanced ones even though academically they weren't, that's how it felt to me as a teen and I believe that is in part responsible for my not particularly having a career until I was 30 (although I always worked).
My husband never particularly enjoyed school but did not feel on the outside of society in this way as I did.
We are now in the process of going round looking at the local grammar schools.  It is throwing up all kinds of conflicting thoughts and emotions for me.  I believe I would have been better off going somewhere where high IQ was celebrated rather than being regarded as kooky and not very useful.  Buried in there somewhere is also a bit of very old prejudice of these schools which of course were the same ones that were nearby when I was young and we regarded the kids that went there as "posh" and various other things... and that grammar school must be boring because they must have to work harder and have less fun... I am having these perceptions challenged I am happy to say!
I am also a bit drawn to the argument that there shouldn't be grammar schools and that all schools should be excellent.  I also remember a lot of people disrupting the lesson by dossing about because they weren't really interested and engaged, and I guess this wouldn't happen as much at a selective school.  I also have clear memories of pretending not to know answers that I did know, because my peers would take the mickey.
Clearly there is a lot of stuff going round in my head at the moment that I am trying to process - sorry if I am rambling!
I am interested to hear others' experiences - in particular how did it feel going from a primary school where you were consistently the top of the class to a secondary school where perhaps you were more average?  Did anyone have similar experience to me?  Any other views?

Thank you very much for helping me with my mental processes!

? · Accepted Answer

I live in Birmingham and go to a grammar school and the people there really aren't posh. all the posh kids go to the private schools. I was bullied at primary school but when I moved to secondary school I felt that I fitted in a lot better and made lots of friends. I was no longer the geeky clever kid who everybody picked on as the rest of my class were just as clever (if not more so) than me. I would definitely recommend grammar schools if your daughter is clever as they will give her the best education and the best start in life. grammar school is only viewed as hard work because the students actually care about their education and so spend a lot of time studying. it is still possible to have a social life (some of the people in my year went wild as they got older). the lessons are also a lot less disrupted as people there will actually want to learn. personally I loved going from being top of the class to being more average as it made me feel more normal and showed me that I could always achieve higher than I currently was.

Anonymous · Answer

Well up until the end of this academic year I was a student at a grammar school. I'm not sure what area you live in, but the majority of people at my school were definitely not posh. Just because you go to a grammar school doesn't mean you are going to have the most amazing education ever, and it doesn't mean that all your teachers are going to be all that great. I still have had some really good teachers, but I have think one of the main reasons why students do so well is because of their ability and their hard work. People still doss about and disrupt lessons. People still drink and do drugs just like at any secondary school. To be honest, not everyone there will be that clever either, although I would say that the majority of people are pretty intelligent.

In my experience, it was sometimes quite hard to suddenly be average compared to my peers when in primary school I was one of the people who were top of the class. However there will be a mixture of students at any school, and there will be a lot of people around your level of ability and under it too. To be fair, I think this feeling of not being as good as everyone else mainly came at sixth form.

In my opinion though, I think the most important thing is whether or not your daughter herself wants to got to a grammar school or whether she prefers a different school. I can't really compare grammar schools to a comprehensive seeing as I've never been a pupil at one, but I can say that there seems to be less bullying and fights and people generally getting into trouble than what I've heard of my local comprehensive schools.

On the whole however, I believe I did get a good education at the school I went to, probably better than I would have at a lot of other schools near me, but I just wanted to explain that grammar schools aren't THAT different from any other school, and you could get just as good of an education somewhere else.

? · Answer

If you're consistently the top of your class in a mediocre setting, you can become complacent. Much better for a keen mind to be constantly challenged to do better, and receive encouragement and acknowledgement for being on the constant search for higher goals.  

Being a big fish in a small pond, you're stuck in a small, still pond.  Better to jump into the ocean, where there are more opportunities to create waves and ride the surf.

The grammar school debate?

3 Answers