how would you react?

Cancer is killing my family. My mother died a month after her 49th birthday; years later, my father died just after he turned 70; three years ago, my 48 year old brother died. I watched them all go through Chemo and wither away until their last breath. So, I do know how it feels to go through that ordeal, three times over.

Sure, they were not my children, but I certainly can relate to ANYONE's experience of dealing with cancer stricken loved ones.

And, yes, I do understand your feelings in reaction to the last part of this woman's letter.

In my personal journey of having loved ones die from cancer, I try not to talk to others who are going through the same thing because my stories ended in death, not remission. Trying to be sensitive to other's plight, I keep quiet and just listen if they want to talk about their feelings/experiences. No one wants to hear "I know how you feel" and in the next breath tell about their loved ones losing the battle.

I would be put off by her final comments in that letter, and I do hope that I never have to watch my own children suffer from cancer. However, she is in survival train of thought and wants to ward off well meaning comments, therefore, I would excuse her seemingly insensitive and somewhat selfish comment about her own painful journey while ignoring yours and not wanting to hear about it.

you do have a right to feel annoyed, many people are affected by cancer, yes it can bring people together,and seeing any friend or family member go through this is a terrible thing to see, but yes seeing a child through this I imagine is close to the the worst thing a person can go through, but... this does not mean that the rest of us that may not have kids or, may not have a sick child, cant feel also when they see those we care about affected, others have also have known people with cancer.

She is in pain and is coping how she can though, people can say and do anything when they are in such pain, agree, give her some space but let her know you are there to talk if she needs you.

Yeah i'd feel a bit irritated but as sunburst said, people react in different ways in a crisis like this. A lot of people react in this kind of situation by saying 'I know what you're going through' and it's probably the worst thing to say because everyone is different. She's probably sick of people trying to mean well. I'd leave her alone because I don't really think she'd be that open to hearing about ' your jouney'

Yes, you do have a right to be annoyed, because it does seem like she's belittling the pain others with cancer-stricken relatives feel. However, I can understand why she wrote the bit 'please don't tell me you know how I feel', because when people do that it's kind of insensitive and does not comfort the person in anguish.

No. You have a right to be slightly angry. She doesn't know what you have seen so she shouldn't automatically assume that you cant relate. If I were you I would tell her that your grandmother went through the same thing and that you are here for her if she wants to talk :)

You have a right to feel irritated at her judgmental attitude, but please cut her some slack. People going through a crisis like this, especially if it's their child, are trying to cope as best they can.