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How do you become Non-superficial ?
I'll be straight up honest and admit I am quite superficial. My brain seems programmed that way. Sure, I value Intelligence and Personality and a range of other human traits, but when I look at a near perfectly formed human, I see more innate value in them and I can't help it!
I don't want to be this way, but it feels ingrained within me like it's genetically imprinted.
To my understanding, on a physical level, we humans have a built-in definition of what beauty is, with only slight variations in what is otherwise a very consistent consensus opinion on the features and symmetries that make an attractive or beautiful human. And we use this built-in database/profile to help evaluate potential genetic qualities in mates. For instance, a balding man is considered less attractive, but that un-attractiveness also perfectly coincides with our genetic reading, that being the baldness is a degenerative or genetic flaw, it's imperfect, it shows a weakness or abnormality.
So the primal part of our brain takes a few points off for that, since it's sole purpose is to identify good or positive genetic traits for reproductive purposes.
Another correlation here is that I am admittedly a very sexual person and also very intimate or touchy-feely kind of guy. I can easily see how that ties in to how I see and value people based on their appearance or ability.
But I think this is true for a lot of people. People greatly value things like good singing, dancing or performing arts, it immediately registers in the brain and we naturally appreciate it, the person gains worth, And the loss is more devastating.
If there is way to change this, I'd really like to change. Do you think it's possible ? Have you changed ?
2 Answers
- 4 years ago
It's a thing. It's called the Halo effect. It affects everyone, but some people are more... I guess self-preserving/ less empathetic than others?
I would recommend a two pronged approach:
tell a wise, sensitive friend. Maybe they can connect you with someone unattractive, but amazing. Or the inverse. You have to learn that unattractive people can be ... ah, better than attractive people; or that attractive people can be ... worse people. Ugly women "steal" men from attractive women because they're better at relationships.
Raise your empathy for people who are unattractive. I guess.. as a guy, this would be more difficult... but put yourself in situations where people treat you differently because of the way you look. Hang out with people who don't like your physical appearance.
This answer isn't my best. I'll come back.
- Anonymous4 years ago
What a lovely rant. Totally against community rules by the way. Why would you want to be different if any of the crap you said was actually true?
