How should I react and feel?

Question

My husband and I will be using donor sperm to do an IUI in hopes to get pregnant any day now once I get a positive ovulation reading. He told me just today that he doesn’t feel it’s that important he be there for the procedure that if he has to work the day we do it he would rather get his sleep. It makes me a little emotional and upset he would be thinking this way. I get we aren’t using his sperm. Yet, to me it will still be his baby. I would think he would want to support me and be here for me throughout the whole process.

Patricia · Answer

You think he would want to support you, but you're not him.

Coach Simon · Answer

There is no "should"; you feel how you feel. My concern is that this is important to you but not to him, and if this is a problem now, what is going to happen when you have a child and differences occur? Marriages do require sacrifice and compromise, and you need to understand the processes if your marriage is going to last through the "difficult" times. Such times don't have to be too difficult if you know what to do.

You know your husband better than we do, hopefully. Again help over this is available.

Good Luck!

You know your husband better than we do, hopefully. Again help over this is available.

Good Luck!

Bucklee91 · Answer

I should have reworded it a little different. Is it normal for me to feel a little emotional and upset? I have tried talking to him about it. All he says is he just doesn’t feel like he needs to be there. He does want to have a baby and has accepted the fact we are using a donor. He even chose the donor.

Anonymous · Answer

To you it will still be his baby but maybe you should ask if he feels the same way before you go ahead with it. If he's not invested in it now he might never be and that would be so sad for the child. 
Don't ask us what you should feel. Communicate with your husband.

How should I react and feel?

4 Answers